


Life In a Circle

by beyondthesea



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, Post-Canon, Threeshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondthesea/pseuds/beyondthesea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After turning up nearly dead after being missing for three years, Azula is sent to heal on the peaceful shores of Kyoshi Island, but life with Azula is never uncomplicated, and the Princess' presence will turn the life Ty Lee has built for herself completely upside down.</p><p> <br/><b>Formerly <i>The Beginning in the End in the Beginning</i></b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, a couple of things before we get started. First off, this story was originally conceived as a oneshot, but then it ended up being almost 40,000 words, so I decided to break it into three parts. Parts One and Two will be close to the same length, and then Part Three will be almost as long as the first two combined. This also started out being strictly Tyzula, but I ended up focusing on Ty Lee's relationships with both Mai and Suki pretty heavily as well, and, personally, I think the story is better for it.
> 
> The rating is subject to change, and I expect it will go up to M when I post Part Three. There's nothing explicit or anything. It's just a couple of things that I could get away with under a T rating by themselves, but added together, probably not. I'll go into more detail about the warnings when I post that chapter, but let me know if you're concerned.
> 
> On an unrelated note, if you read _If You Look for the Light_ , you may notice certain plot similarities, but this story does not take place in the same universe.

**August, 100 AG**

Zuko first admits to Ty Lee and Mai that he fully intended to kill Azula shortly after she is admitted to the asylum. "And then I saw how… how she was… and I couldn't go through with it." He shakes his head. "I didn't know. She seemed so sane when I was home. She seemed like herself." He looks up at the two of them, studies them for a moment. "You both spent more time with her than I did. Did either of you see it?"

Mai sighs. It is not the long-suffering sigh she has spent years perfecting. It is not at all overly dramatic. In fact, she almost sounds sad. "I did."

"You did?" Ty Lee cries, while Zuko's eyes widen. "When?"

"The year before you," she nods at Zuko, "were banished."

"What?" Ty Lee grasps Mai's upper arms and shakes. "That long ago? That's like… like, four years!"

Mai extricates herself from her friend. "Oh, this has been coming for a long time."

"Well, why didn't you do anything?" Ty Lee presses.

Mai rolls her eyes. "Maybe because she would have burned me alive if I'd even suggested it. What was I supposed to say? Excuse me, Princess, but I think you're starting to go insane?"

She turns to Zuko for support, but he looks completely devastated, like he's just watched her slit the throat of a baby turtle duck. "Why didn't you tell _me?_ "

"You were twelve," Mai shrugs. "What would you have done?"

"Why didn't you tell me when I came back?" He elaborates.

Mai sighs again, grimaces, and drops her eyes to the side. "I guess I just… didn't think about it."

"You didn't think about it?" Zuko repeats. "You didn't think about that fact that your _friend_ was losing her mind? You didn't think that was something her _brother_ might want to know?"

"You have to understand, Zuko." Mai's voice is level and calm, but there is just a touch of urgency to it that betrays her. "It was old news by then. I barely thought about it anymore. And I was sort of…"

"Distracted," Zuko finishes with a nod of his head. "I know." He pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled."

Mai lays a hand on his arm. "She's your sister." As if that is all the explanation that is needed. Ty Lee is reminded forcefully that Mai is an older sibling too.

 

*****

 

**June, 102 AG/ June, 104 AG**

Azula disappears just before the two year anniversary of the end of the war. Mai is gone by then, to a flower shop owned by her aunt. Ty Lee receives letters from her every so often. She never sounds happy, and she asks about Zuko a lot. Later on, her brother is with her, and Ty Lee thinks that might have cheered her up, if not for the fact that she finds him in the shadow of her father's treachery, but she has rescued him from an upbringing like Azula's, and Ty Lee thinks she should be proud of that. Mai has always cared about her brother, even though to she goes to great pains to make it look like she doesn't.

"She's gone," Zuko tells Ty Lee and Suki. He had arrived back at the palace just over two hours ago and would answer no questions until he'd sat alone in his room in the dark for almost an hour. "She ran into the forest. We couldn't find her. We looked…" He drops his head into his hands.

"She'll be okay, Zuko." Suki reaches across the table and lays her hand on his knee in a gesture that might raise Ty Lee's eyebrows if she wasn't acutely aware of how in love with Sokka her friend is. "If there's anyone who can take care of herself, it's Azula."

He shakes his head. "You didn't see her. She was… she was… _insane_. She barely knew what was happening."

"She'll turn up," Ty Lee adds, sounding more confident than she really is. "You know Azula. She's high maintenance. She needs attention. She won't be able to stay hidden for long."

But Azula doesn't turn up. Mai returns to the palace after receiving Ty Lee's letter about the Princess' disappearance and after Zuko promises profusely never to lie to her again, the assassination attempts taper off, Ty Lee and Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors leave Capital City to return to their island, and still, Azula does not turn up. Two years pass, and Azula does not turn up.

And then one day, Ty Lee receives a letter. Mail is rare on Kyoshi Island. It is only delivered every couple of weeks, and the only person Ty Lee ever hears from is Mai, but Ty Lee still has not replied to Mai's most recent correspondence, so she is certainly not expecting anything.

"It has the Fire Lady's seal on it," Suki informs her as she hands her it to her, and Ty Lee vaguely wonders how Suki even knows what the Fire Lady's seal looks like—there hasn't been one since Fire Lady Ilah died more than ten years ago, and besides, Suki had never been off Kyoshi Island until the war—before realizing that the use of that particular seal makes no sense at all. Mai isn't the Fire Lady. Not yet.

She tears the letter open, ripping the paper in her haste, and skims her eyes over the words.

"What?" Suki asks urgently, reaching for Ty Lee's shoulder, when she gasps and presses her hand to her mouth so hard the skin around it turns white.

"Uhh…" she hums, trying to recover her words. When she finally finds them, she can only manage a whisper. "A-Azula's been found."

 

*****

 

**July, 104 AG**

Despite Suki's offers to come with her or to send Sokka, Ty Lee arrives in Capitol City by herself. Zuko seems surprised to see her, but quickly recovers. Mai stands serenely next to him and says nothing. Ty Lee senses that she is concealing a smirk.

"He wouldn't have wanted me to ask you what I did," Mai explains later. "He wanted to keep her in the palace, but it's not good for her. She's only gotten worse since she's been here. We need to get her out."

On the way to the dining room that evening, Ty Lee passes a portrait of Ozai that has hung in the palace since shortly after he took the throne. She is surprised that Zuko left it up, but perhaps, she thinks, it is a show of respect. Even in death, Ozai commands a certain reverence from his son. In any case, it probably will not be hanging much longer. The paint has been scratched off the canvas in eight long stripes. Like someone did it with their fingernails. Twice she passes empty swatches of wall where she knows mirrors used to hang.

"Mai tells me you've come to offer Azula a home on Kyoshi Island," Zuko says to her. "Is this something you're really prepared to do?"

"Mai told _me_ Azula couldn't stay here," she replies evenly. "I don't see any alternative. I can handle anything she throws at me." She means it literally. She means lightning. She bested Azula once, when she was a fourteen-year-old circus performer, and Azula was freshly trained by the best instructors in the world. It has been four years since then, and Azula spent two of them in an asylum, where she was not allowed to bend at all. Meanwhile, Ty Lee has trained with one of the Earth Kingdom's premier fighting groups. She has nothing but confidence in her own abilities.

"She doesn't have her fire anymore," Mai tells her in a voice that is uncharacteristically quiet, even for Mai, later that evening. At first, Ty Lee takes it metaphorically.

"Of course she doesn't. She was barely herself before she escaped, and then she spent two years on the run."

"No," Mai replies. "Her fire _bending_. She doesn't have her fire _bending_ anymore."

"What?" Ty Lee whispers, her eyes widening. "What happened to it?"

Mai sighs. "Zuko tried to explain it to me, but he wasn't making much sense. He was going off about her _losing her rage_ or something, and then he started talking about dragons, and I kind of tuned him out after that." She shrugs. "He hasn't been sleeping much."

 

*****

 

Ty Lee has associated Azula with fire for as long as she's known her. The Princess was already a prodigy when they met and she remembers sitting in the garden with Mai, both of them watching her train, but Mai pretending not to. Even though she knows this development will make her own life infinitely easier, she finds herself unable to imagine Azula without the power to strike a person down where they stand.

Ty Lee doesn't see Azula until late the next afternoon. "She would have been at dinner last night," Zuko explains as they walk down the dark corridor that leads to the royal family's residential suites. "But yesterday… well, it wasn't a good day."

They come to a stop outside the door to Azula's bedroom. "I'll be right out here if you need anything." He places a hand on her shoulder. "But I have a feeling you'll be just fine."

The room is dark, and, at first, Ty Lee thinks it is empty. She turns to leave, to ask Zuko if maybe one of the servants took the Princess somewhere, but then she catches movement out of the corner of her eye.

Azula is a large shadow huddled at the foot of the bed. "Did my father tell you to come?"

Ty Lee draws her eyebrows together because _surely Azula knows_. Everyone in any of the nations knows. "Azula… your father is dead." He'd only lived two and a half years into his prison sentence. Ty Lee had never known anyone to die of a lack of comfort before.

She laughs, short and dry. It sounds like a bark. "I know _that_. That's not what I asked. Did he tell you to come here?"

"No." Ty Lee shakes her head slowly. "I haven't seen your father since he went to pri—since the end of the war."

"He mocks me," Azula explains bitterly as Ty Lee takes a step closer. "He hides in the walls, but he won't leave me alone." She clutches her head between her hands and begins to rock back and forth with alarming force. Ty Lee sinks down beside the Princess and grabs her wrists. The rocking ceases, and Azula is left heaving long, shuddering breaths. As her eyes adjust to the dark, Ty Lee can start to make out the details of Azula's features. Her cheekbones are more prominent that Ty Lee remembers, a mixture of age and malnutrition from being on the run, she is sure. There are dark bags under her eyes that explain the fact that the bed does not look like it has been touched. Some sort of mark creeps up the left side of her neck from under her robe. A rash, perhaps. Her knuckles bear dozens of cuts in various stages of healing and something dark is caked under her fingernails (Ty Lee suddenly remembers the portrait of Ozai). Once a force of nature, she is now only shadow of her former self.

"Azula," Ty Lee whispers. She swallows thickly. "How would you like to go somewhere he can't get to you?"

Azula slowly removes her hands and looks up at her companion, eyes wide. _God, she looks like a child_. "There's someplace like that?"

"Yes," Ty Lee nods, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "An island. I live there now. You can come stay if you… if you want."

Azula looks away. "You're only asking out of pity. You don't really want me there."

"That's not true." Ty Lee frowns and crosses her arms. "Why wouldn't I? You're my friend."

"I wasn't your friend when you blocked my chi and tried to run off with Mai at the Boiling Rock," she argues, an edge her voice that Ty Lee recognizes, though she has never heard it directed at her. "You weren't my friend when they were locking me away in the asylum like some common half-wit. And that was even when I could do something for you. Why should I believe that you've decided to be my friend now that I'm worthless?"

"That's not true," Ty Lee repeats. "I was always your friend, Azula. But I was Mai's friend too. And you needed help." She hesitates. "You _still_ need help."

"I need nothing," Azula snaps. "I'm fine. You're dismissed."

Ty Lee shakes her head. "I'm not going anywhere until you agree to come with me."

Azula meets her eyes again, studies her. "You dare defy me?"

"I defied you when you had the ability to strike me down with lightning," Ty Lee points out. "What made you think I wouldn't do it now?"

 

*****

 

**August, 104 AG**

Azula has been much calmer since they've been on the ship. Zuko had the mirror removed from her cabin as a precaution before they set sail, but the ones in the latrines have remained undamaged.

"You can't see our house from here," Ty Lee comments as she comes up behind Azula, standing on the deck, watching as, after nearly a week, the island finally approaches. Ty Lee has grown in two years, and she has at least three inches—almost as much as Mai—on Azula now. Azula doesn't seem to have grown much at all, though she has certainly lost weight, and Ty Lee unsure how much of the weight loss is a result of natural aging and how much came from going hungry during the years she was away and refusing to eat once she was back in the Fire Nation.

"You mean _your_ house," she replies.

"No."

"Listen, Ty Lee." Azula turns to her. "I know you like to think that things always work out but—"

"No, I don't," Ty Lee interrupts. "I've never thought that."

"Well, I—"

Ty Lee knits her brows together. "Do you really think that about me?"

"You just…" Azula falters. She furrows her brow and starts over. "You always seemed content to hope for the best."

"I did that because I trusted you," Ty Lee answers. "Not because I had some sort of blind faith that the universe would work itself out in my favor. Do you think I was just hoping for the best when I incapacitated you at the Boiling Rock?"

She remembers herself at fourteen. Upbeat compared to her friends and overly enthusiastic, but not innocent, not naïve. She had traversed the Earth Kingdom before Azula even set foot there. She had done things by the age of fourteen that she thinks Azula has still not done.

"I—"

"I thought you were going to kill us, Azula," Ty Lee answers her own question before her companion has a chance to. "I was prepared to die. The entire time, I was prepared to die."

 

*****

 

Ty Lee never told Suki she was bringing Azula. It had never occurred to her that Suki would have a problem with it, past a mild displeasure about the idea of living near someone she didn't like. She realizes now, that was a foolish assumption.

"You didn't even ask me how I felt about it." They are standing in Suki's tiny kitchen, Azula huddled on the couch in the living room. Suki is trying to keep her voice level or even angry, but Ty Lee can hear a tremor that reveals another emotion all together.

"Why would I?" Ty Lee argues, crossing her arms. "It's not like you own the island."

"No," Suki answers. "But I do live here. As do all the other Kyoshi Warriors she imprisoned."

"So?" Ty Lee asks. "She imprisoned me too. It wasn't personal. It was just war." Of course, it _had_ been personal when Azula threw Ty Lee in the Boiling Rock, but in Ty Lee's opinion, that only helps her case.

Suki's face hardens and she blinks furiously, like her eyes are betraying her for daring to tear. "I can't believe you didn't talk to anyone beforehand." She shakes her head. "I know Azula was your friend, Ty, but we're your friends too."

"She is my friend," Ty Lee answers. She lowers her voice. "And she needs help. You didn't see her back there Suki. She barely knew what was happening. I can't send her back to the palace. I won't."

Suki is wiping at her eyes now, and her hands come away wet. Ty Lee is beginning to wonder if she is overreacting just a little, when she sinks into one of the wobbly little kitchen chairs. She drops her head into her hands, takes a deep breath, and meets Ty Lee's eyes. "Do you know what I really saw when she got off that ship?"

"No," Ty Lee replies as she claims the chair across from her.

Suki's voice drops to a whisper and she makes no move to conceal the tear that streaks down her right cheek. "I saw her ordering the guards to hold me upside down until I gave them the Avatar's location. I saw her ordering them to dunk my head in the bucket again unless I told them." She sighs. "I saw her smiling."

Ty Lee is at a loss for words. She thinks her heart might be breaking, and suddenly her remark about it not being personal seems extremely insensitive. But Azula never mentioned taking trips to the Boiling Rock, even if Ty Lee didn't see her every day once they were back in the Fire Nation. None of the other Kyoshi Warriors ever mentioned it. "I…" she stammers. "I didn't know."

"You would have." Suki narrows her eyes. "If you had talked to me."

"I'm sorry," Ty Lee offers and hopes it will be enough, hopes her oversight hasn't damaged their relationship permanently. They have become so close over the past four years.

Suki shakes her head and breaths a heavy sigh. "You couldn't have known. The rest of the girls weren't transferred to the Boiling Rock until after I escaped and… I never told them."

Before Ty Lee has even had time to think, she is kneeling in front of Suki, pulling her friend's body to her. Suki's head is heavy on her shoulder. "I still dream about it," she admits, her voice muffled in the crook of Ty Lee's neck. "Sokka has to wake me up sometimes, when he visits."

"I'm so sorry," Ty Lee repeats as she rubs her commander's back. She can feel her shirt growing wet, can feel tears pricking at the corners of her own eyes, but despite herself, her heart races as Suki shifts against her. It is all incredibly conflicting. "I just didn't know."

Suki sniffles and sits back up. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone…" She is no Azula, and the threat is undermined by a watery smile.

"I won't. Promise. My lips are sealed." She presses them together to demonstrate. "But," she glances over her shoulder, through the doorway. "Azula…"

"Of course she can stay," Suki agrees. "As you said, it's not my island. I just… I wish you'd thought. I wish you'd at least warned me."

 _Ty Lee never thinks_ , her sisters used to say.

"Thank you, Suki!" Ty Lee exclaims, drawing her in for another hug, this one short and tight.

"But, she's your responsibility," Suki adds, her voice stern. "You keep her out of trouble. And don't forget about your commitment to the Kyoshi Warriors. I expect you on time every morning, as usual. I didn't make an exception for Yani when her mother was ill, and I can't make one for you."

"Of course," Ty Lee agrees, nodding enthusiastically.

"And I can't offer you any extra provisions," she continues. "The refurbishment nearly ran us dry, and Min's father just died. She needs what little extra we have more than you do."

"That's fine," Ty Lee replies. "I promise, I'll make this up to you, Suki."

With that, she is out of the kitchen, pulling Azula off the couch and through the front door.

 

*****

 

**September, 104 AG**

Azula's first month on the island goes better than anyone expects it to. She spends the first two weeks on the couch because Ty Lee cannot afford a bed until she gets paid. She had been ready for Azula to demand Ty Lee's bed for herself. She had been ready for an argument, but there was none.

On the third night of the second week, Ty Lee wakes to a crash in the living room. She stumbles groggily out of bed and pushes the door open, leaning heavily on the doorframe. "Azula?" she yawns.

Azula is sitting on the floor beside the couch extricating herself from the mess of blankets tangled around her legs. "Go back to sleep, Ty Lee," she says, and her voice shakes.

Ty Lee ignores the command and pushes herself off the doorframe to join her friend on the floor. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Azula replies. "I'm fine. I fell, that's all."

Azula used to be much better at lying. Perhaps it is because she is tired.

Ty Lee lays a hand on her shoulder. "Azula, you're trembling."

She jerks away. "No, I'm not."

Ty Lee raises an eyebrow. Finally the Princess sighs. "It was a nightmare. It was nothing. I'm quite used to them."

"But you haven't had one since you've been here."

"I haven't had a _loud_ one since I've been here," Azula corrects. "But, like I said." A wave of her hand. "They're nothing."

Ty Lee sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone's having nightmares."

"You are too?" Azula snaps her head up to study her friend.

"Me?" Ty Lee asks in surprise. "No, I was talking about—never mind. No, I don't."

"Oh," is Azula reply, and she almost sounds _disappointed?_

"We'll be able to buy your bed at the end of the week," Ty Lee informs her as she finally frees her legs from the confines of the blanket. "And then you won't have to sleep out here by yourself anymore."

Azula looks surprised. "I'm sleeping in your room?"

"Duh," Ty Lee answers as Azula climbs back onto the couch. "Where else would you sleep, the kitchen? It's not like I live in a pala—in a really big house. I don't exactly have a room to spare."

The Princess sighs. "Please don't do that."

Ty Lee furrows her brow. "Do what?"

Azula plucks the blanket off the floor and pulls it over her knees. "Treat me like I'm about to break. I'm not going to lose it because you say the word, palace. Actually going there, on the other hand…"

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"Well," Azula says. "As you can see, I'm back on the couch. I'm not injured. I'm not crazy. You can go back to sleep." She yawns. "I'm going to." And, without another word, she lies down, rolls over so Ty Lee is staring at her back, and quickly begins making herself comfortable.

 

*****

 

Azula will not undress in front of Ty Lee. It is not something she notices until they begin to share a bedroom, and it strikes her as odd, because they have certainly changed in the same room before. She remembers those months they spent in the Earth Kingdom hunting down the Avatar, the two of them and Mai all crunched into one tent trying to pull their shirts over their heads without elbowing one another in the face. Now Azula pretends to be asleep (she knows Azula is pretending because in reality, she doesn't look nearly so dignified when she sleeps) until Ty Lee dresses and leaves the room to prepare breakfast. She is never more than two steps into the kitchen when she hears the bedroom door click shut.

Azula always joins her minutes later, dressed and haughty as ever, and Ty Lee doesn't mention this apparently newfound insecurity. Perhaps it is something she picked up at the mental hospital.

"Morning," she chirps on one of these mornings during the second week of the second month of Azula's stay. She is at the counter slicing fruit, and Azula picks one off the tray and pops it into her mouth. "Hey!"

"You take too long," Azula comments in way of explanation as she sinks into one of the chairs at the table.

"You just woke up," Ty Lee argues, even though she knows it isn't true. "And it wouldn't take so long if you helped, you know." Azula merely snorts. "What?" Ty Lee continues. "You're too good for that? You don't have servants here, you know. _I_ 'm not your servant." She scrapes the fruit off the counter and into a bowl. "This is my breakfast. You can make your own."

From then on, Azula rises every morning before Ty Lee. She is already in the kitchen, struggling to pick the shells out of an egg in a pan or methodically chopping vegetables into pieces that are still uneven when Ty Lee emerges. She occasionally offers small bits of advice, such as, "You'll have better control over the knife if you hold it this way" or "No, crack the egg like this," but for the most part, she enjoys watching Azula's frustration. The girl who is—was the most powerful firebender the world had ever known, can't even fry an egg properly. It gives Ty Lee an odd sense of satisfaction. _Azula is not so perfect after all_.

She makes her own breakfast, working around her friend, who is, without fail, still struggling when Ty Lee sits down to eat, every so often throwing out those gentle tips if Azula really seems to be floundering.

Ty Lee is carefully applying her paint and pinning her hairpiece (and being way too perfectionistic about it, even though Suki won't even notice) by the time Azula actually begins to eat. "Don't try to cook anything on the stove until I get home," she advises as she walks out the door. "You'll burn the house down, and I really can't afford another one."

 

*****

 

**December, 104 AG**

Birthdays are not something the Kyoshi Warriors usually celebrate together. There will, of course, be congratulations at training, maybe they'll do something special for lunch, but at the end of the day, they go home and celebrate with their families. Unless it's Ty Lee's birthday. Or Suki's.

Ty Lee learned a week into her stay on Kyoshi Island that she and Suki are the only warriors with no family to speak of. Ty Lee _has a family_ , of course, but she hasn't seen them since she ran away to the circus five years ago and she doubts they have even noticed she's missing. Suki has never mentioned what happened to her family, but Ty Lee knows from the other warriors that she has been on her own for at least seven or eight years now.

"She joined the Kyoshi Warriors young because no one else would take her in," Min whispered to Ty Lee when she'd asked how Suki had risen to leadership at the tender age of fourteen when many of the girls were five or six years older.

Suki turns twenty four months after Azula's arrival, and so far, they have done a remarkably good job of staying out of each other's way, but Ty Lee hates the idea of missing the party. She and Suki have established a certain solidarity, being the only ones without family. They spend holidays together. They buy each other presents on special occasions. They _are_ each other's family. But there is no way Ty Lee can leave Azula home alone for an evening just because _my other friends don't like you_ , even if they do have an admittedly very good reason not to. Azula is Ty Lee's family now too.

"Azula can come," Suki says without even looking up as Ty Lee approaches her after training has ended and the rest of the girls have gone home to wash off their paint.

Ty Lee is stunned. "How did you…"

Suki places a hand on her shoulder. "I know you pretty well, Ty."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Ty Lee asks, because Suki really shouldn't have to deal with the person who tortured her for months on her birthday. "We can stay home."

"I want you there," Suki replies. "And I know the two of you are a package deal now. Just…" She sighs and looks away. "Just make sure she behaves herself, okay?"

And that is how Azula ends up at Suki's twentieth birthday party.

They arrive late, Ty Lee practically bounding with energy, Azula trailing several feet behind her.

_"I don't want to go."_

_"Azula," Ty Lee sighs. "I'm going, and I'm not leaving you here, so you're coming."_

_"Why can't I stay here?" Azula argues. "I've been here all day."_

_"And that's long enough. Besides, you never go out. You need to socialize more."_

_Azula frowns. "You just don't trust me alone. Are you afraid the voices will come back if you're gone too long, Ty Lee? Do you think your presence is keeping them away?"_

_"I just…" Ty Lee hesitates. "I just worry about you."_

_"Well, don't." Azula crosses her arms in front of her chest. Her voice is firm, determined, but it only has a fraction of the edge it used to. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I did it for two years. I think I can manage for one evening."_

_"Too bad I don't care what you think."_

_Azula's eyes narrow, because they both know Ty Lee would never have talked to Azula like this during the war, but things have changed in four years. Ty Lee has grown a backbone with the Kyoshi Warriors, and Azula's time on the run seems to have made her less angry and far more agreeable._

_Ty Lee clenches her fists and then unclenches them. Inhales. Exhales. "Azula… I know how well you're doing. Believe me, I've noticed. But that doesn't mean I'm going to forget about how you were in the Fire Nation. Just because you're fine right now doesn't mean you're better. Azula, you haven't been healthy in a long time. I'm not going to not worry about you just because you seemed okay when I left this morning."_

_"And exactly how long do you plan on treating me like a child?" Azula asks furiously. "How long until you trust me again?" Ty Lee drops her eyes. Azula's widen. "You're never going to trust me again, are you?" Her voice is small, and maybe, if Ty Lee's ears are not betraying her, even frightened._

_"It's not that I'll never trust you, Azula," she explains. "But trust has to be earned, and after everything that happened, it's going to take more than what you've given me."_

_"I could say the same to you."_

_"Listen," Ty Lee sighs, pressing her index fingers to her temples. "This has nothing to do with anything. I could trust you more than I trust Suki or Mai, and I still wouldn't leave you alone tonight, because you're my friend, and I care about you. And I won't have fun if you're here. So you're coming, even if I have to carry you and leave you out on the porch."_

"Ty Lee, you're here!" Suki greets her with a hug. Ty Lee can see her studying Azula, who is standing just behind Ty Lee's right shoulder, out of the corner of her eye, as if she is deciding whether she should acknowledge her. Finally she nods. "Azula." It is not laced with all the resent that Ty Lee expected, but she notices that Suki left Azula's titled out. She has informed Azula, in the absence of one word, not to expect any kind of deference, any more respect than Suki would show any other person. She has informed Azula that they are equals.

"I'm surprised you got her to come," Suki confides to Ty Lee later in the night. "I didn't think she'd agree to it."

Ty Lee frowns. "You told me to bring her."

"I know," Suki answers quickly. "I'm not complaining. I'm just surprised."

"Well, it wasn't easy," Ty Lee says. "She didn't exactly want to."

"Azula doesn't strike me as the kind of person who does anything she doesn't want to," Suki replies.

Ty Lee looks over her shoulder, to where Azula is standing with her back pressed into the corner of the wall clutching a slice of cake that Ty Lee thrust into her hands an hour ago and she hasn't touched since. "That used to be true, but I don't think it is anymore. Something happened in the last two years." Ty Lee tears her eyes from the Princess.

"Wow," Suki murmurs. "I wasn't under the impression Azula would ever be able to change. What do you think it was?"

"I don't know."

 

*****

 

**January, 105 AG**

It takes Ty Lee a month to build up the courage to ask Azula what happened during the two years between her escape from Zuko and the Avatar in a rural area of the Fire Nation and her discovery in a completely different rural area on the other side of the Fire Nation. It isn't that she never wondered in the first four months Azula stayed with her, but Suki's comment has made her think about what could have exacted so great a change in the most headstrong and stubborn person she has ever met, and she keeps coming up empty.

"Azula?" she calls one night, nearly an hour after they have climbed into their beds on opposite sides of the room. She is almost hoping her companion is asleep.

"Yes, Ty Lee?" Her heart sinks.

"Azula, umm…" She hesitates, but she knows it is too late to go back. "What, umm… what exactly did you do, after you… left?"

She can hear a heavy sigh and a rustling of sheets. "I was wondering when you were going to ask."

"How did you—"

"Well, I knew something was going on," Azula interrupts, as if it should be obvious. "You've been staring at me when you thought I wasn't looking for weeks now. I don't see what else it could be." A bark of a laugh. "Unless you've suddenly realized you're in love with me or something."

"Oh, no… I, umm… I haven't."

"I thought as much," Azula replies. She does not say anything else for a long time, and Ty Lee decides that she is not going to answer and rolls over. And then Azula speaks again. "I woke up the next morning—I think it was the next morning—in the middle of the forest. I didn't really have a plan, but I knew that I had to find the road." Ty Lee turns back over. Azula is laying on her back, staring straight at the ceiling. "I started walking. I don't know how long I walked for, a couple of hours probably, and then a wagon came up behind me. There were three men on the it, and I heard one of them say, _what about that one?_ , and then they were grabbing me. I tried to attack them, and that was when I realized…"

"You couldn't firebend," Ty Lee finishes.

"I could," Azula answers. "But the amount of heat I was able to produce would have been barely enough to warm a bowl of soup. So they threw me in a cage they had in the back of the wagon and covered it with a blanket." She sighs. "They took me to Omashu to sell me—apparently there's a market there for pretty, young, Fire Nation servant girls now; Mai's father never would have stood for it. Well, in Omashu, they recognized me, and they attacked the cart." Azula laughs, harsh and resentful. "I should thank them, really. All the chaos they were causing provided me with the diversion and the time I needed to escape.

"I obviously couldn't stay in Omashu, so I left, without the slightest idea where I was going to go. I wandered around for… I don't know how long, weeks probably. I was too out of shape to hunt without my bending—I have dear Zuko to thank for that—so I nearly died. And then a hunting party found me and took me back to their village. It was this squalid little town full of miners. Well, they knew I was Fire Nation from my clothes, and I woke up while they were deciding what to do with me, whether they should kick me out or let me stay. They eventually decided to feed me and let me spend the night, so I waited until they went to sleep, and I took some food and a change of clothes and left."

"You robbed the people who took you in?" Ty Lee's eyes widen.

Azula's gaze flits to her roommate before returning to the ceiling. "Don't act so surprised, Ty Lee. You've known me for a long time."

"But you're nothing like you were," Ty Lee replies.

"I didn't say I would make the same decision _now_ ," Azula answers. "The food didn't last very long anyway, and then I was back to starving." Her voice is laced with mere annoyance, and Ty Lee hates the casualty with which her friend can describe going hungry. "But then I ran into a group of Fire Nation street performers. Three of them were benders, fire eaters, actually, and the other was a dancer. They were on their way to Ba Sing Se. They agreed to take me with them if I promised to join the group as a dancer once we got there. The whole thing was incredibly degrading of course, and I was going to desert them as soon as they got me inside the city, but then I realized I had nowhere else to go. The fake papers that got me onto the ferry wouldn't have held up to scrutiny, and I would have been tossed right back into the desert, and the fire eaters already had a house waiting for them, so I stayed. I shared a room with the other dancer, Lian, and we started performing the next day." Azula rolls over so that her back is facing Ty Lee. "I stayed with them longer than I ever planned to. It was months. Almost a year. They didn't know who I was, so I knew that however they felt about me was because of me, not because I was a princess or a bending prodigy. They didn't like me at all at first, and I didn't care… but then I saw how they acted around each other and I actually… wanted to be a part of it."

"You're not exactly used to being left out," Ty Lee comments.

"No," Azula agrees. "I wasn't. I started talking to Lian, and I guess she told them about it, because they got a lot nicer to me after that. And then suddenly, they were including me in everything. And I had… _friends_."

"You had friends before," Ty Lee states.

"Yes," Azula answers dismissively. "But I always wondered if you and Mai stuck around because cared about me or because you feared me. With Lian, and Kuan Zhi, and Lok, and Shenzi, I never had to."

"Oh," Ty Lee replies, and she can't say much more than that, because if she is being honest with herself, sometimes she wasn't completely sure either.

"Being surrounded by so many people helped keep the voices away. Lian and I used to talk like we are now, and she woke me up when I was having nightmares," Azula admits. "And Lok and I were… close." Ty Lee feels a pang of sadness, and she can't quite place where it is coming from. "And then they left. The Earth King was pushing citizens from all the other nations, especially firebenders, toward the United Republic, so they decided to try their luck in Republic City. I obviously couldn't go there. My dear brother and the Avatar are in and out of that place all the time, so I decided to stay. I could barely bend anymore, and the name I was going by and ambiguous enough, so I thought I could pass as Earth Nation. I was hired by a couple who ran a flower shop. They liked to give second chances, so they didn't ask too many questions. They made me a dinner on my seventeenth birthday, and they let me live in their dead son's room—"

"Their son was dead?"

"Yes," Azula answers. "He died in the resistance movement during the Fire Nation occupation."

"So, when you were the Earth Queen?"

"I don't know when exactly," she replies. "It might have been after we left. Anyway, it didn't last very long. The customers kept disagreeing with me. They were all imbeciles, of course. They thought they knew everything just because they had gardens. I was the one who actually worked there. But eventually, the owners told me it wasn't going to work out. After that, I decided not to stay in Ba Sing Se after all. I joined a group of dancers getting on a luxury passenger ship so I could get out of the city. I shared a cabin with three other dancers, but the food was better than anything I'd had in the Earth Nation. I would have stayed longer, but one of my father's old friends got on with his family when we stopped in Capitol City, so I jumped ship at the first stop outside the Fire Nation." She turns over again, careful not to meet Ty Lee's eyes, and stares back of the ceiling.

"Unfortunately, there's not much of anything in Gaoling, and it's isolated enough that I couldn't leave to go somewhere else without transportation. I looked for work as a dancer—I had the experience, and it was the only way I could get anyone to even look at me—but there was nothing, so I served tea—"

Ty Lee gasps. "Just like your brother."

"Don't remind me," Azula answers. "And that didn't last very long either. A lot of sailors came through the tea shop, and I overheard one of them saying he needed an extra hand on his cargo ship, so I found him at the docks after my shift and he agreed to let me work for him in exchange for board. It was one of those ships that delivers supplies to the islands. It was a lot of work, but I got to see parts of the world I'd never bothered to visit before because they weren't worth conquering." She sighs. "But then on the second island we stopped at, the captain hired a boy, and I think he recognized me. He got this strange look on his face whenever he saw me, so I had to disappear on the third island.

"It was this dumpy little fishing village, and I didn't want to stay, but I knew the Eastern Air Temple was nearby, so I went there. There was this guru there, but he pretty much ignored me at the beginning. Then he found me while I was having a… well, a very heated conversation with my father, and he started teaching me how to meditate. And it helped. A lot."

"Do you still do it?" Ty Lee asks.

"Obviously." Ty Lee can see her roll her eyes. "I haven't seen him since I've been here, have I? What do you think I do here by myself all day? After a while—it was months—he told me about the Sun Warriors and the firebending masters. He told me I'd lost my bending because I was driving it with rage and my rage was gone, and he told me they could help me get it back, so I left the next morning. I went back to the village and waited for another ship to come in. That took me back to Gaoling. From there, I boarded another passenger ship disguised as a dancer, and then I slept in third class, where no one would notice an extra body, and that took me to Fire Fountain City. I spent a while in the woods trying to work out how I was going to get to the northern-most tip of the Fire Nation without being recognized. Then, when I snuck into the city one night to look for some food in the trash, I ran into someone who did recognize me, but it was Lok." There is almost emotion present in Azula's voice when she says the name. She drops her head toward the wall opposite Ty Lee. "He was working as a hand for a United Republic ship by that time—I guess the whole fire eating thing didn't work out in a city full of firebenders—and he offered to hide me. They were about to deliver a United Republic inspector to the Boiling Rock, so they were going pretty far north. I took him up on it, and I spent my eighteenth birthday sleeping in steerage.

"When we finally got to the Boiling Rock, he helped me steal a lifeboat and pointed me in the right direction. It took me two days to get to the island where the Sun Warriors were, and then, they had the nerve to tell me I wasn't worthy to see the masters. I threatened their lives, and that only made them more resolved, so I fought them. They tried not to use their bending against me, but then one of my fire blasts went in the direction of one of their children, and the chief decided it wasn't worth it. Honestly, I don't see why it was such as big deal, the fireball was only about the size of my fist and it burned out after about two feet, but apparently he thought it was a big deal. Anyway, I lost. It took me the rest of the day to find my lifeboat again, and by that time, I barely had the energy to push it off the beach and crawl in. The next thing I remember, I was on a Fire Nation military vessel. I was back in Zuko's custody by the week's end." She rolls so that, for the first time, she is facing Ty Lee. Her eyes bore into the other girl. "Happy?"

"Not really," Ty Lee replies. "But I'm glad to know." She pauses. "Azula, what was your name?"

"My name?"

"Yeah, you said you went by a different name," Ty Lee recalls. "What was it?"

"You have to understand, I was under a lot of pressure to come up with a name quickly, and I don't exactly know a lot of Earth Kingdom names," Azula explains.

"Azula, what was it?"

"Suki," she answers, her voice a harsh whisper. "I went by Suki."

 

*****

 

"It was a really long story," Ty Lee tells Suki the next morning.

"What was?" Suki asks absentmindedly as she stares at a diagram of a complicated-looking jump kick.

"The story," Ty Lee answers. "What Azula was doing for two years."

Suki drops the book and look up at her. "She told you?"

"Mmhm." Ty Lee drops to the floor beside her friend. "I asked her last night."

"And she just… told you?"

Ty Lee nods. "Yep."

"Are you sure she was telling the truth?" Suki narrows her eyes. "It wouldn't be unlike her to invent a story that makes her look good."

"The thing is," Ty Lee explains. "It really didn't make her look all that good. She robbed some people who were trying to help her, she threatened the Sun Warriors—"

"I thought the Sun Warriors were just a myth," Suki comments.

Ty Lee shakes her head. "Nope. Zuko met them."

"Well…" Suki hesitates, bites her lip, like she's not sure how to respond. "Alright then."

Ty Lee does not tell Suki that Azula borrowed her name.

"I never thanked you," Ty Lee blurts out. "For letting her come to your birthday. I mean, I don't think she had a very good time, but I did."

Suki smiles and squeezes her shoulder. "It was never about her. It was about you. I wanted you to come, so I was willing to have her there too. And it worked out fine, anyway."

"Yeah," Ty Lee agrees as Suki stands up and starts toward the middle of the room, probably to try out the complicated jump-kick. Ty Lee wonders, not for the first time, if, maybe in another world where Sokka didn't come out of the war, she and Suki ever could have ended up together.

"Oh, Sokka will be visiting next weekend," Suki calls over her shoulder. "We were wondering if you wanted to get together on Friday night. Azula can come. If she wants to. But she has to behave herself, because I don't think it will take very much to convince Sokka that she needs to be taken out."

"Okay," Ty Lee replies without really knowing what she is agreeing to, because she's just felt the familiar, unpleasant pang in her chest at the mention of Sokka's name, and it is the exact same one she felt when Azula mentioned Lok.

 

*****

 

Ty Lee likes Sokka. She really does. The three of them get together every time he visits, and Ty Lee always has a good time. He is funny, and charismatic, and a great story-teller. And he is kind. He treats Suki well, which is all Ty Lee really wants for her. She remembers having a thing for him when she was fourteen and not allowed to have a thing for anyone outside of the Fire Nation. He was worthy as an early crush, much less embarrassing than some (Suki's first crush, for instance), and she knows that she and Toph have that in common anyway. Sometimes, Ty Lee hates that she can't hate Sokka, but she has never been able to, and she has long since finished trying.

Sokka greets her with a hug that seems enthusiastic, even for her. Once again, Azula trails morosely behind her, looking like she wants to be here perhaps even less than Sokka and Suki want her here. Sokka looks at her over Ty Lee's right shoulder and nods. "Azula."

Ty Lee turns her head to watch her friend study him, eyebrows drawn together, for a long moment, and then offer the slightest nod in return.

At twenty years old, Sokka has just been named to the council in Republic City. "You could always join me," he tells Suki as they file into the tiny kitchen.

"I think I'm more needed here," she answers. They both know Sokka was barely serious, anyway. Suki will never leave Kyoshi Island, but every time he changes locations, he offers to bring her along in the hopes that she will agree. It has been going on for over two years now.

_"Kyoshi Warriors retire at twenty-five," Suki tells her after the third time Sokka asks her and she turns him down, and Ty Lee doesn't understand why. "Maybe then I'll take him up on it, but for now, my life is here."_

"So, Ty Lee," Sokka turns to her. She is pushing herself up on the counter to make room for Azula, who seems reluctant to even step through the doorway. "What about you? Any plans for the future?" He waggles his eyebrows. "Any _men_ on the horizon?"

She can feel the heat rising to her face, and she can tell Azula notices, because her eyebrows are slowly wrinkling in thought. Luckily, Sokka does not. "Oh, you know me," she chirps in a voice that she hopes is appropriately breezy and apathetic. "I like to keep my options open."

He shakes his head. "Well, just so you know, if I wasn't with Suki…" he trails off and winks dramatically.

"I think we _all_ know that," Suki states, a broad smile on her face that Ty Lee only sees when Sokka is around. "The fish is done. It's kind of burnt. We're better at catching them than cooking them, unfortunately." Every time Sokka is town, Ty Lee goes to their house for dinner, and every time, whatever they are trying to cook goes horribly wrong. Ty Lee does not understand how two people who have cooked for themselves for so long can be so very bad at it, though Sokka pointed out once that cooking over a fire is very different than cooking in a stove. Something about air currents and how often the coals need to be turned.

"Don't worry about it," Ty Lee replies. "You should see Azula try to make a fruit salad."

Suki and Sokka go very quiet, and it occurs to Ty Lee that it probably looks to them like she is poking a sleeping platypus bear. They know Azula as the mad Princess of the Fire Nation, not the little girl who used to pretend she wasn't crying when she fell out of a tree. Azula shoots her a very dirty look that tells Ty Lee she might have a hard time getting her out of the house again, and then returns to staring determinedly at the floor. Sokka and Suki seem to decide that it is safe to laugh good-naturedly.

"Well, have a seat," Suki tells them. "We only have three chairs. There are never more than three people here for meals." And usually, it is only Suki.

"I'll stand," Ty Lee offers quickly.

"No." Azula's voice surprises all of them. When Ty Lee wheels around to look at her, she is still focused not on the floor, but on the wall to her right, the wrinkled red mark on her neck, which has not faded and Ty Lee now thinks might be the beginning of a scar, just visible above the high collar of her shirt. "I will."

"Thank you, Azula," Ty Lee says, and Azula offers her a quick, stiff, controlled smile, which Ty Lee thinks might have looked more genuine, had they been alone.

Ty Lee takes Azula home early, because Suki and Sokka have not seen each other in four months, and Ty Lee does not want to be in the way (even though she kind of does). "How was that?" she asks as she unlocks the door to their house.

Azula sighs. "Not as terrible as I thought it would be," is her reluctant answer.

They enter the living room in silence. "Well, I'm going to change," Ty Lee calls over her shoulder as Azula stands awkwardly at the side of the couch. Five and a half months and she still does not treat the house like it is hers. "And then you can, I guess."

"Does it bother you?" Azula asks. It is sudden, and her voice is clipped.

Ty Lee stops and turns. "Does what bother me?"

"Seeing Suki," Azula answers. "With Sokka."

"Of course not," Ty Lee replies with a shrug, though she is sure Azula can see the panic on her face. "Why would it?"

Azula narrows her eyes. "Lying doesn't suit you, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes and continues into the bedroom to change, unsure why she does not want Azula to know. Who is she going to tell, after all?

It does not come up again.

 

*****

 

**March, 105 AG**

Azula still has nightmares. This, Ty Lee knows. They account for the bags under her eyes and the way she is still dragging half an hour after she wakes up, when Ty Lee enters the kitchen. But they are rarely visible. They rarely wake Ty Lee up.

Seven months into Azula's stay on Kyoshi Island, she is screaming. She is tossing so much, her bed mimics the creak of a ship on the ocean. Ty Lee jumps out of her own bed and halfway across the room.

"Azula!" she calls. "Azula, wake up!"

Her friend twists and thrashes within the sheets, and Ty Lee grabs her shoulders and shakes. "Azula!"

Azula's eyes pop open, and they are as wide as the full moon outside the window. Then she is gasping and Ty Lee pulls Azula to her, hugs the Princess' head to her shoulder. She can feel Azula's body heave against her rib cage, a cold sweat that is not her own against her neck. She rubs her friend's back in slow, long strokes, the way she did for Mai after Zuko left four years ago or for Suki when they lost that boy to the Unagi last summer.

They stay like that for several minutes as Azula's panting breaths calm, and then Ty Lee can feel her friend's body stiffen, and she knows Azula has become aware of her surroundings again. She pushes Ty Lee away, and without a word, she lays back down and turns toward the wall, away from where Ty Lee is seated on the edge of the bed, hair tossed over her tear-streaked face like a curtain. Ty Lee sighs, cold at the loss of contact and slightly disappointed. She reaches out and brushes the damp strands of hair off of Azula's cheek, her fingers tingling as they brush across her skin.

"I'm glad you're here, Azula."

She begins to pull her hand back and slide off the bed, when Azula's hand snaps up to grabs hers. Ty Lee feels a hard squeeze, and then the hand is gone, sliding back under the blankets.

 

*****

 

Mai arrives on Kyoshi Island three days later. Zuko is supposed to be with her, but he has been called away on an urgent matter in Republic City.

Ty Lee has not seen Mai since she left with Azula more than half a year ago. She and Zuko are too busy to take time off to visit, and no one will ask Azula to return to the palace.

"How is she?" Mai asks, her voice low, almost as soon as she steps off the ship.

"She has nightmares," Ty Lee replies. "But she's doing well."

They have dinner at Ty Lee's that night. Suki joins them, because she and Mai have become… not exactly close, but certainly friendly. Mai glances at Ty Lee knowingly when she arrives.

They settle into the living room, Ty Lee and Azula on the couch, and Mai and Suki on the opposite chairs. Mai studies Azula with interest, while Suki avoids looking in her direction. Instead, she asks Mai if she has seen Sokka recently. Ty Lee finds that it doesn't hurt quite as much as it used to. She can feel the heat radiating off Azula. Their thighs are nearly touching on the couch.

"When are the two of you just going to get married?" Mai asks, with a roll of her eyes.

Suki laughs. "I could ask you the same thing. How long have you and Zuko been together, five years?"

"Only two continuously," Mai answers.

"And engaged for one and a half," Suki points out.

Mai shrugs. "We're not in a hurry. Much to the dismay of Zuko's advisors. They seem to think it reflects poorly on the royal family for me to be using the Fire Lady's seal before we're married. I can't help thinking that's a euphemism for something." She turns to Azula, a mischievous glint in her eye. "What about you, Azula. Found anyone _worthy_ enough yet?"

Azula's frown deepens for a moment before a sinister smile stretches across her face. "No. You see, unlike some people, I have standards."

Mai turns back to Suki, a question about her relationship status with Sokka already crossing her lips. Azula seems to relax, and it strikes Ty Lee as odd that she wasn't in the first place. It is like the comment was forced, like she is trying to live up to a standard she thinks she is supposed to. Ty Lee looks over at her. Their eyes meet for a brief moment before Azula drops her head.

Ty Lee wants to hug her, but she knows that can only end poorly, especially with Mai and Suki in the room, so she settles for laying her hand on top of Azula's, where it rests on her knee, and squeezing. Azula looks back at her, eyes wide, lips parted in surprise. Ty Lee smiles reassuringly at her, and Azula does not pull away.

On the other side of the room, Mai bites back a gasp.

 

*****

 

**April, 105 AG**

It happens on Azula's nineteenth birthday. It has been eight months since she arrived on Kyoshi Island. Ty Lee has been begging her to have a party.

"No one will come," Azula tells her. "No one here likes me."

"Nonsense," Ty Lee replies as she slices fruits and tosses the wedges in a bowl (she is giving Azula a break from making breakfast this morning). "They'll come for me."

"Oh, that changes everything." Azula stares out the window. Where the sun glints through the leaves, lighting the trees up like they are on fire. "I feel so much better now."

"Well maybe if you actually tried being nice to people…" Ty Lee shrugs.

"I'm nice to people," Azula argues.

"No," Ty Lee answers. "You're not mean to people. Big difference. How did you make your friends in the Earth Nation? You talked to them, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, there you go," Ty Lee says, as if that solves all of Azula's problems.

"That's different." Azula sighs. "It wouldn't matter. I imprisoned all your friends. Somehow, I don't expect them to jump at the idea of exchanging recipes."

"Suki forgave you," Ty Lee points out.

"Suki did not _forgive_ me," Azula replies in exasperation, like she is explaining something to a child who is not quite picking it up. "Suki tolerates me. There's a big difference." A pause. "How do you even know Suki has something to forgive me for?"

Ty Lee sighs and lays down the knife. She turns and sets the bowl of fruit in front of Azula before taking the other seat at the table. "She told me. She told me you tortured her."

Azula's eyes widen. "When?"

"Right after we got off the boat."

"You knew?" Azula's voice is a whisper. "You knew this entire time, and you let me stay? You let me share your bedroom?"

"You didn't torture _me_ ," Ty Lee answers. "I am angry at you for what you did to her." She takes a breath. "But you're my friend, and you needed help. I wasn't going to let you go back there."

She pushes the bowl of fruit across the table. "I don't deserve this."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "Azula, stop being such a drama queen. It's your breakfast. Eat it."

Azula shake her head. "I don't deserve any of this." She turns back toward the window and in an instant, her expression shifts from steadfast determination to absolute horror. Before Ty Lee knows what it happening, Azula has put her fist through the glass.

"Azula, stop!" Ty Lee cries, leaping out of her chair and hurrying to kneel in front of the Princess. Azula is pressing the heels of her hands to her forehand, knuckles bleeding, and beginning to rock back and forth.

"Go away!" she cries. "Leave me alone!"

"Azula, who are you talking to?" Ty Lee takes Azula's fists, sticky with blood, in her hands and drags them away from her face. There are tears gathering in her friend's eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Why didn't he just kill me?' Azula whispers, her voice rough.

"Who?" Ty Lee asks. "Your father?"

Azula shakes her head forcefully. "Zuko."

Ty Lee knits her brows together in confusion. "Why would Zuko kill you?"

"Because I don't deserve to live." She chokes on the last word. "Father says he should have killed me. He says it would have been an honor killing." She laughs, and it sounds too loud and unnatural. "Zuzu was always so obsessed with honor."

"Azula, when were you talking to your father?" Ty Lee asks, her voice urgent.

"He talks to me all the time," she replies. "In my dreams." She blinks and a tear slides down her cheek. "You told me he couldn't get to me here."

Ty Lee sniffles. She can feel moisture in her own eyes. She cups Azula's face between her palms, thumbs skimming her cheekbones, and brings their foreheads to rest against each other. "I know."

She can feel Azula's ragged breathing begin to slow, though tears continue to dampen her hands.

"Why are you doing this?" Azula whispers. "Don't say because we're friends. That's not a good enough reason."

Before she knows what she is doing, Ty Lee presses her lips to Azula's. They are dry and rough against her own, and Ty Lee's nose presses into Azula's cheek as their tears mingle, and maybe she is pushing too hard. She can feel the fronts of Azula's teeth against her lips. And then her mind catches up with her and she pulls away.

Azula's eyes are wide, her cheeks flushed, her mouth hanging open.

"I'm sorry!" Ty Lee squeaks as she stands up and begins to turn to walk away.

Azula catches her hand and she is stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait."

She turns, and Azula is on her feet looking a combination of shocked and confused (but not angry or disgusted, Ty Lee notices). She is opening her mouth and then closing it again, as if frantically trying to speak, but she can't seem to make any words come out. Ty Lee swallows and wrenches her hand free. She crosses the living room in four steps and bursts through the door into the fresh morning air.


	2. End

**April, 105 AG**

Ty Lee does not return to the house until well after dark that night. She closes the door behind her gently, so that the only sound is the soft click of the lock, and carefully picks her way across the living room and into the bedroom.

The entire point of waiting so long to return was a hope that Azula would be asleep already, that Ty Lee could lie down without waking her, and then rise early and leave for the training room before they had a chance to speak the next morning. She knows immediately, however, when she opens the bedroom door, that her plan has been foiled. Azula is seated on her bed, back pressed against the headboard and knees drawn to her chin, a small flame—the largest she is capable of producing—flickering at her fingertips. "You got blood on my face." She sounds unfairly accusatory, but so much like the Azula that Ty Lee fought a war with that she finds herself unsurprised. Then, more quietly, "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to come back."

Ty Lee doesn't answer. She steps across the floor and sink into her own bed, wrapping her arms around her body, without looking at her companion.

"Where did you go?"

Ty Lee sighs. "The beach, mostly. I thought about going to see Suki, but…"

"You didn't want to tell her what happened," Azula finishes darkly. Ty Lee can hear the self-loathing in her voice.

She nods. "I knew she would realize something was wrong. Listen," she takes a breath, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… done what I did. I was just caught up in the moment, I guess, and I wasn't thinking."

The voices of her older sisters ring in her head. _Ty Lee never thinks._

"So…" Azula's voice sounds oddly strained. "You didn't mean it."

A long pause. "I meant it," Ty Lee finally whispers. "But I never meant to do it. Especially not then. Not when you were so upset. I took advantage of you."

" _You_ taking advantage of _me?_ " Azula replies with a bitter snicker. "My, my, how the tables have turned."

Ty Lee is silent, willing herself not to cry. When Azula speaks again, her voice is softer, and laced with something Ty Lee cannot quite place, though it resembles fear. "Why did you run away?"

"I thought you would hate me."

"Oh," Azula replies. "Well, I don't." She sighs. "I thought you might have done it because you were disgusted with yourself."

Ty Lee looks back at Azula for the first time since that morning. "For… for k-kissing you?"

Azula nods. "I tortured one of your best friends and would have killed the other if you hadn't stopped me. It hardly seems a stretch." But she sounds hurt, nonetheless.

"Well, when you put it that way…"

Azula chuckles softly, and for a split second, Ty Lee feels like they're in a tent in the Earth Kingdom, bantering back and forth while Mai sleeps, dead to the world, not six inches away. "Look, Ty Lee, do you want to just pretend this never happened?" The moment is gone.

"And go back to the way things were?" Ty Lee asks. Azula nods. "If you do."

Azula is silent. She looks away, first at the bed, and then at the opposite wall.

"D-do you, Azula?"

It takes the Princess a long time to answer, long enough that Ty Lee is about to give up and pull the blankets over herself, resolving to feign amnesia the next morning. When she finally answers, her reply is so quiet that Ty Lee nearly misses it in the sound of her own breathing.

"No."

 

*****

 

Ty Lee feels more awkward than she can ever remember feeling the next morning when she enters the kitchen. Azula is already there, nose inches from the piece of fruit she is slicing.

"Morning," she murmurs. It is not her usual chipper greeting, and she knows Azula notices by the way the knife stops moving, just for a second, and Azula's eyes flit up at her, but she grunts in return, just like she always does, as Ty Lee shuffles around her and reaches for a bowl to make porridge.

They don't speak until they are both seated at the table, Ty Lee poking at her food so that it will take her longer to eat.

"I never actually told you happy birthday yesterday," Ty Lee comments.

"Yes, in the midst of your sudden burst of affection, it seems we forgot," Azula replies, though she doesn't sound like she cares very much at all.

"I'm sorry." Ty Lee says. Azula shrugs. Ty Lee reaches across the table to take the Princess' free hand in hers. She laces their fingers together and watches her friend's face for a reaction, testing the waters. Azula's eyes drop to their hands, and Ty Lee can feel her tense, waits for her to extricate herself, but then she feels her relax, and their eyes meet again. Ty Lee breaths. "I was thinking maybe we should do something tonight instead."

"I am not having a party."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "I don't mean a party. I mean we should do something. Just the two of us. As a… couple?" Another test. She studies her companion closely.

"A couple," Azula breaths. She is silent for a moment, like she is allowing it all to sink in (Ty Lee can relate). Then she narrows her eyes. "What kind of something?"

"Relax," Ty Lee chuckles. "It'll be fun."

 

*****

 

Not much has changed since Ty Lee and Azula became a couple. They hold hands sometimes (always initiated by Ty Lee), and they invade each other's personal space more often (always initiated by Ty Lee), but on the whole, they don't behave any differently toward each other. Ty Lee is afraid of overwhelming Azula, and Azula was never an affectionate person to begin with.

Ty Lee does not tell anyone about her change in relationship status. In part, it is because the idea that Azula returns her sentiments seems too good to be true, and she is positive that if she breaths a word of it, she will wake up and find that it was all a dream, and in part because she is, admittedly, afraid of their reactions. Even if Azula wasn't Azula, she would still be a woman, and only Mai is aware of Ty Lee's inclination towards women so far. She has always been strangely supportive of her infatuation with Suki, but Ty Lee has never been sure if she is merely trying to be supportive, or she does it because watching Ty Lee pine amuses her.

Mai visits again the weekend after Azula's birthday, this time with Zuko in tow. He seems harried and distracted, but he greets Ty Lee with a smile and a hug, and Azula with a stiff pat on the shoulder, that Ty Lee thinks is equally awkward for everyone involved.

Ty Lee has requested the day off. She feels bad about it, because she knows her absence will stretch the Kyoshi Warriors even thinner and that Suki will not feel like she can say no to anything in which the Fire Lord is involved. They walk around the island, which they have always done when Zuko and Mai visited Ty Lee, because Zuko rarely has time to relax, and Ty Lee suspects he might find the gentle rushing of the waves therapeutic. Azula manages to look bored the entire time, but they trail far enough behind Zuko and Mai on the deserted beach that Ty Lee feels comfortable taking Azula's hand, and Azula, who is twice as skittish about showing affection of any kind, allows it.

Ty Lee and Azula have not talked about it, but it is clear that neither of them is ready to spread the word about their fledgling relationship. They sit on opposite ends of the couch (admittedly still not very far apart) when they all return to the house, and Ty Lee resists the urge to make a grab for Azula's hand when the conversation turns, as it always does, to Mai and Zuko's prolonged engagement, or to rest her head on Azula's shoulder as the clock strikes eleven and she stifles a yawn.

Zuko hugs Ty Lee again when they leave, promises they'll see each other tomorrow. Mai allows Ty Lee to hug her, and fixes her with a searching look that makes her uncomfortable and leaves her feeling exposed. And then the door closes and they are alone.

Ty Lee seizes Azula's arm and presses a kiss to her cheek, ignoring the way her friend tenses at the small amount of physical contact. "I think that went well."

"Mai knows," Azula comments.

Ty Lee leans back to study her. "What?"

"Didn't you see the way she was looking at us?"

"Well… yes." Ty Lee sighs. She is honestly not surprised. Mai has always had the uncanny ability to size a person up without so much as talking to them. She suspects it might the be reason Azula chose her to begin with.

"We don't have to keep doing this," Azula informs her. "We can end it."

Ty Lee's eyes widen. "Why would we do that?" Azula shrugs.

Ty Lee plants her hand on the back of Azula's neck, slides it up through her hair, and angles her head so that their lips meet. The kiss lasts longer than the first, is deeper, and when they part, they are both panting. Azula still looks terrified by this new thing between them. Ty Lee is too, though she is much better at concealing it. "We're not doing that," she adds, voice forceful, resolved, and the corners of Azula's lips twitch into a smile.

 

*****

 

**May, 105 AG**

Aang and Katara are married when they are seventeen and nineteen, respectively. They are a little young, even in Ty Lee's opinion. But, she realizes, they are older than Zuko was when he became Fire Lord, and they have been a steady couple—much more stable than either Suki and Sokka or Mai and Zuko—for almost five years now.

Ty Lee does not attend the wedding. She has never been very close to either Aang or Katara, having tried to kill them both on multiple occasions, though she thinks she might have at least received an invitation, had that not been practically synonymous with inviting Azula. Mai and Zuko are there, of course, and Suki is gone from Kyoshi Island for two weeks. Luckily, the wedding takes place in the South Pole. If they had decided on Republic City, like, according to Suki, Aang wanted, it would have been much longer.

Ty Lee is left in charge, even though many of the girls have been around longer than she has, but no one disputes the decision. Ty Lee has been Suki's de facto lieutenant for years now. Unfortunately, this means longer hours. Ty Lee quickly finds that she has been underestimating the amount of extra work Suki does for the same pay. It must be a calling.

She decides not to leave Azula alone. If not for what happened on Azula's birthday, she would have considered it, but the nightmares have been more frequent in the month since, and Ty Lee is not taking any chances.

"I'm not going," Azula protests as Ty Lee attempts to forcibly drag her out of bed. Ty Lee is taller than Azula now, and she has spent nearly five years training as a warrior, and a year as an acrobat even before that, but Azula has a sturdier build, and even though she is no longer at her peak, her grip is locked on the headboard of her bed. "I do not need to be babysat."

"We've been over this, Azula," Ty Lee grunts as she adjusts her own grip on Azula's other wrist. Really, the whole scene would be rather comical if not for the fact that Ty Lee has to leave early to pick up the day's assignments on her way to the training room, and she is already running late. "I am not leaving you and that's that."

"If you say so," Azula replies, and Ty Lee can't help but feel annoyed at how bored she sounds. "But I can stay like this all day. You have to go to work, eventually."

Ty Lee hates her for being right.

"Don't make me block your chi," Ty Lee threatens between clenched teeth, unsure if she really means it.

"Don't make me use my bending," Azula retorts.

Ty Lee laughs. "Your bending could barely give me a sunburn." Even to her own ears, it sounds crueler than she intended.

Suddenly, Ty Lee is on her back, on the ground, Azula on top of her, pinning her shoulders and _snarling_. Her eyes are narrow and cold and full of hate, and Ty Lee hasn't seen them quite like that since Azula nearly killed Mai on the roof of the Boiling Rock. And then they're not anymore. They're wide and scared, and Azula is scampering off of her, scampering backwards like a frightened animal until her shoulders hit the bedframe with a hard thunk.

Ty Lee picks herself up and leans back against the frame of her own bed. Azula is staring at her expectantly, and Ty Lee realizes that she is waiting for Ty Lee to tell her their relationship is over, waiting to be evicted from the house, waiting to be sent back the Fire Nation.

Ty Lee straights her headpiece and looks up at her companion. "You are going to come to work with me," she commands in as determinedly even a voice as she thinks she has ever spoken. "I shouldn't have said what I did about your bending. That was a low blow." She pushes herself to a stand and readjusts her armor. "Be ready in three minutes." And she is gone.

 

*****

 

"Ty Lee, how many people have you kissed?"

The question takes Ty Lee by surprise. They are leaning against opposite arms of the couch facing each other, Ty Lee divvying up the next day's assignments, and Azula… writing something. They are nearing the end of Ty Lee's short tenure as head of the Kyoshi Warriors. So far, Azula has accompanied her every day without further incident, but Ty Lee can tell that it makes her uncomfortable. She never liked people very much anyway. The other girls have gotten used to her presence on the island, even her presence in and around any social function that Ty Lee attends, but they still eye her with suspicion. They still don't speak to her when they can help it.

Honestly, Ty Lee doesn't blame them.

Honestly, she doesn't think Azula does either.

"Hmm," Ty Lee thinks for a moment, tapping her chin with her index finger. "I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"You don't know?" Azula raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Really?"

"Mmhm," Ty Lee replies with a nod of her head. "You do?"

"Of course, I do," Azula answers. "It's really not that uncommon. I don't think."

"Well, there were a couple of guys when we were at school," Ty Lee recalls. "And then there were some guys I met when I was with the circus—"

"Circus performers?"

"No, guys who came to watch the show. And then there were these two guys in Ba Sing Se," she continues. "And that party on Ember Island."

"No one since?" Azula asks.

"No… well, not until…" she gestures toward Azula.

"Oh." Azula shrugs. "I thought maybe Suki—"

Ty Lee laughs. "No, Suki's been madly in love with Sokka since long before I met her. You know that. It must have come up at the Boiling Rock."

Azula stiffens for a moment, and then she relaxes and a smile that is almost predatory blooms across her face. "Much to your dismay."

"Azula!" Ty Lee leans forward to slap her on the knee. "Well, what about you? How many people have you kissed?" Though she is pretty sure she already knows the answer. Azula drops her eyes and shrugs. "Come on, Azula!" Ty Lee protests. "I told you!"

She sighs. "Three."

"Three?" Ty Lee's eyes widen. "Well, me, of course." She counts it off on her fingers. "And, let me guess, Lok?" Azula looks taken aback, but she nods. "And… who else? Mai?"

" _Mai?_ " It is the most genuine laugh Ty Lee has heard from Azula since her betrayal nearly five years ago.

"So… not Mai," she replies. "Well, I don't know! Who else would have kissed you?"

Azula narrows her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you didn't really get out much, _Princess_ ," Ty Lee answers. "And when you did, you were usually busy conquering people." Her eyes widen. "Tell me it's not Zuko."

" _Zuko?_ " Azula nearly falls off the couch, and Ty Lee struggles to suppress a laugh as she reaches forward to steady her friend—girlfriend.

"I always thought you guys had kind of a weird relationship." She leans forward. "So, who was it?"

Azula folds her arms in front of her chest. "I don't think I want to tell you now."

"Oh, come on, Azula!" Ty Lee cries. "The suspense is killing me."

"Good." She raises an eyebrow and grins wickedly. "That's the point."

"Come on, Azula," she repeats, pushing herself into a kneel and leaning over Azula's knees.

"What are you doing?" Azula asks, her voice increasing in volume, as she tries to follow Ty Lee with her eyes.

"You'll see," Ty Lee sings. Her mouth latches on to the base of Azula's jaw, and she can feel the other girl jump in surprise.

"Are you trying to _seduce_ the answer out of me?"

Ty Lee withdrawals her mouth with a pop, long enough to answer, "You seduced Ba Sing Se away from Long Feng. Imagine what I can do." She slides lower, "with all of my superior experience," down to the Princess' neck.

"It was a boy from that party on Ember Island," Azula says too quickly.

Ty Lee pulls away to look at her. "That was fast." She furrows her brow. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because," Ty Lee answers. "I've never seen you surrender so easily. I've never seen you surrender at all, actually. Azula," she reaches to lay a hand on the side of her girlfriend's neck. She swats it away. "What's wrong."

Azula's eyebrows her pressed down like she is angry, but Ty Lee does not think it is directed at her. "Nothing," she snaps. "I'm fine."

"Lying doesn't suit you," Ty Lee comments. "You used to be much better at it."

Azula sighs. She fixes her eyes on the back of the couch, and then she tilts her head to the side and pulls the collar of her shirt down to her shoulder. Ty Lee gasps. She had assumed that the wrinkled scar that crept up the side of Azula's neck was from a bad cut, maybe accidental when wondering through the woods, or a result of the scuffle during the escape from Omashu. It is a burn scar, and it stretches down her neck, across her shoulder and disappears down her chest and arm under the shirt.

"There." Azula covers herself back up again. "Are you happy?" Her voice cracks on the last word and she will not look at Ty Lee.

"Where did it come from?" she murmurs.

"The Sun Warriors," Azula mutters. "I told you, I lost."

"So, you just didn't want me to see it?" Ty Lee asks, sitting back on her heels. "Azula, I don't care."

"I care." She brings her knees closer to her chest. She still will not look at Ty Lee.

 

*****

 

Suki returns two days later. For, Ty Lee, it is not soon enough.

She greets her friend as she steps off the ship. "How was the South Pole?"

"Cold," Suki answers with a smile. Her eyes scan the crowd. "What, no Azula?"

"I'll explain when we get back to your house," Ty Lee replies. "So tell me about you and Sokka. How are you guys?"

By the time they reach Suki's front door, Ty Lee has learned all about the turmoil in Republic City between Earth Nation refugees and Fire Nation citizens evicted from the colonies. She has also learned that Katara purportedly threw the bouquet directly at Suki, making her attempt to dive out of the way very apparent. "Sokka took it pretty well," she explains. "He knows we're not getting married anytime soon. His sister was another story."

"But you do still want to marry him," Ty Lee clarifies.

"Of course," Suki answers. "I just wish that didn't require one of us to give up our lives. Neither of us is ready to do that yet. So what about you?" she asks as they enter the living room. "How have the girls been?"

"We had a close call with a bad batch of bananas delivered about a week ago," Ty Lee answers. "But Yani and Kiko handled it well. You would have been proud."

"Really?" Suki laughs. "It was that slow the entire time? Usually we start seeing close calls with the Unagi around this time of year."

"It was really that slow," Ty Lee sighs.

"Well," Suki replies, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure you did a great job."

"Azula and I are together."

Ty Lee doesn't know what makes her say it. She had been planning on telling Suki that she and Azula had had a fight, because she needed advice and she certainly wasn't telling _Mai_. Not about _this_. But she'd been planning on leaving out the extent of the relationship.

Suki retracts her hand and narrows her eyes. "Together… how exactly?"

Well, Ty Lee realizes, there is no going back now. "You know, like… together."

"Yes, I got that much." She sighs as she sinks down onto the couch. "Together like Sokka and I are together?"

"Well," Ty Lee thinks for a moment. "Not quite. I mean we haven't—"

Suki holds up a hand. "I don't need to know." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Wow, Ty, that's…"

"Unexpected?" Ty Lee volunteers.

"Among other things." Her friend's voice is weak and maybe even a little sad.

"You're not happy about this."

Suki hesitates. "Of course I'm not, Ty. What did you expect?"

"This," Ty Lee sighs as she drops into the chair opposite Suki. She feels completely defeated. "That's why I waited a month and a half to tell you."

"A month and a half?" Suki repeats faintly. She looks like she might pass out. Ty Lee is glad she is already sitting. "So, this isn't new?"

"It kind of still is."

Suki is silent for a while, and then she looks up and Ty Lee is shocked to find her eyes glistening. "Ty Lee, I need you to go."

"What?" she breaths. Her eyes widen.

"I need you to go. I'm sorry," Suki repeats. "I can't be around you right now. I need to think."

"But, Suki—"

"I need to think," she interrupts. "We'll… we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

Ty Lee hangs her head. "Sure." And she is gone.

 

*****

 

Ty Lee has always found the sound of waves soothing. It was why she loved Ember Island so much. It was the first thing that endeared Kyoshi Island to her, made her feel at home. There were no waves in the Earth Kingdom. Ty Lee wonders if she loved Azula back then. She cannot remember. Surely, if she did, she would be able to remember. Surely she wouldn't have flirted with Sokka, tried to teach Azula how to flirt. She must not have, she decides.

She remembers the exact moment she first realized she was falling for Suki. It had been terrifying. There had only ever been boys before. Well, there had been a schoolgirl crush on Mai of all people, but she had long since told herself that she was simply confused and pushed it from her mind. She was only about ten. It hadn't been hard. Suki was the first girl she'd ever really fallen for, maybe even the first _person_ she'd ever really fallen for, though there was a boy she met when the circus was near Gaoling whom she thinks might count. She had only been thirteen at the time, so it really was hard to say.

They were about a year into their stint as the Fire Lord's personal guard. Azula's disappearance was still recent. Suki and Ty Lee did not normally have the same days off, because they were the best, and even then, everyone knew it, but someone had been sick that week, and Suki had been forced to change the schedule at the last minute. They rose early and walked through Capital City as the sun was rising (Ty Lee doesn't think there is anything more beautiful than a sunrise over the Fire Nation). They trekked down to the beach and listened to the waves and watched the Gates of Azulon light up.

"It's been hard being away from home," Suki admitted, hugging her knees to her chest and shivering. Ty Lee had never understood how she could possibly be cold in the Fire Nation after growing up so close to the South Pole. "Thank you for sharing some of yours with me."

And she hugged Ty Lee.

And Ty Lee knew.

It was all incredibly confusing. She was sad and happy and angry and ashamed all at the same time. And warm. She was warm because Suki was warm. And then Suki let go, and she was disappointed. And then she remembered Sokka and she was heartbroken. That hadn't stopped her from spending two and a half years loving Suki, but she'd always known it was a lost cause.

And now her entire relationship with Suki is up in the air, and her relationship with Azula might be too, and she just wants to curl up right here on the beach and fall asleep and not wake up for a while. She wants to talk to Mai. She wants to talk to Suki. She wants Azula to talk to her.

A tear rolls down her cheek and she makes no move to stop it. She wonders if, in her cottage less than a mile away, Suki is crying too.

"I wondered where you were."

Ty Lee jumps and jerks her head around. "How did you find me?"

"You said this was where you came after you kissed me." Azula's lips twitch, but she does not smile. "I thought it would be a good place to start." She smoothes the sand beside Ty Lee with her foot before sinking into it. "You haven't been home in a while."

"I was there this morning," Ty Lee points out.

Azula frowns. "You left before I woke up."

"Why does it matter?" Ty Lee sniffles. "You're barely talking to me anyway." She brushes away a tear with the heel of her hand, because there is something about crying in front of Azula that still makes her feel inferior. Even though they have both seen the other cry.

"What's wrong?" Azula's voice is suddenly urgent, angry, and Ty Lee realizes she must not have been fast enough.

"Everything's messed up."

"What's messed up, Ty Lee."

She feels a tentative hand on her back. Azula does not rub or pat. She merely plants her hand there, trembling. "I told Suki we were together," she admits.

She can hear Azula's clench her teeth. "Why?"

"I… needed someone to talk to," she answers. "About you. About how you were angry at me, and I don't know what I even did."

"You asked for relationship advice from someone I once tortured?" Azula speaks slowly, like she is sure she is wrong.

"Yes." And Ty Lee can't believe it hadn't occurred to her. _Ty Lee never thinks_.

"And, let me guess, she took it poorly."

Ty Lee nods. She buries her head in her knees, and she can still feel Azula's hand on her back. Still trembling. She can feel it twitch, like maybe Azula is considering hugging her, but if she is, she decides against it.

"She'll come around."

"How do you know?"

"Because," Azula answers, and Ty Lee thinks she can hear a smile in her voice. "It's impossible to stay angry at you."

Ty Lee looks up at her companion. "Are you still?"

Azula shakes her head. "I never was."

"But you wouldn't even look at me," Ty Lee argues.

"I was…" Azula hesitates, takes a breath. When she speaks again, her voice is strained, like she is forcing herself to speak. "I was ashamed. I lost a battle. Badly. That scar is a mark of my failure."

"Azula," Ty Lee replies. "If you'd gotten your bending back, you'd have gone straight back to who you were. A manipulator, a conqueror, but someone who was never sure if she really had any friends." Her lips turn up in a smile that catches her tears. "That scar is a mark of your humanity."

Azula nods and looks out toward the water, and Ty Lee does not think she really believes her.

"So, are we… okay?"

"Yes," Azula replies.

"Good," Ty Lee answers, throwing her arms around her and pulling her close enough that their heads bump together and reveling in the fact that Azula does not immediately push her away. "Because I really need someone to like me right now."

 

*****

 

Ty Lee is late for work the next morning. If she is being honest with herself, it is not entirely unintentional. Of course, Azula had flipped a half-baked pancake onto the floor and had been at a loss for how to clean it up when Ty Lee walked into the kitchen that morning, but she hadn't exactly been rushed in the first place. Truth be told, she is happy to have the excuse.

Her hope is that, by the time she arrives, Suki will be gone with the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, already on her assignment, but, as she discovers when she enters the training room, that is not the case.

"About time you showed up." Despite her words, her eyebrows are curved up and her voice shakes.

"Oh, yeah." Ty Lee rubs the back of her neck. "A-Azula spilled some pancake batter all over the kitchen floor, and it was kind of a mess." _And there are still a lot of basic household tasks that Azula has no idea how to do_.

"I see." Suki sighs.

They are silent for a while, and then Ty Lee speaks. "I understand why you're so angry at me."

"And why's that?"

"Because I'm supposed to be your friend." Her eyes are fixed on the ground. "And I'm… well, I'm _with_ someone who did something horrible to you." She doesn't look back up, but she can hear Suki shift. "When I told you, well, I guess I just forgot."

"Lucky you," Suki answers coolly.

"I'm not going to apologize for finally finding someone who actually likes me back" Ty Lee continues. "But I'm sorry about what she did to you."

"Are you sure she's not playing you?" Suki asks the question quickly, like she is afraid that if she doesn't do it now, she never will. "It's not exactly like she hasn't done that kind of thing before."

"Never to me," Ty Lee replies. "She might have intimidated me into doing what she wanted, but she never lied. Not about anything that really mattered." Azula had intentionally done something to hurt her feelings one time, and she'd gone back on it immediately.

"And she treats you okay?" Suki raises her eyebrows.

"Better than she treats anyone else."

"That's not the same thing."

"Yes, Suki," Ty Lee answers. "She treats me fine."

"And you're happy."

"Yeah." Ty Lee nods her head, slowly at first, but then she gains momentum. "Yeah, I am."

"I'm never going to trust her." Suki sighs. "We're never going to be friends."

"I'm not asking you to," Ty Lee replies. "I just want you to be _my_ friend."

Suki looks at war with herself for a moment. Ty Lee can see her suck on her cheek. Then finally, "Of course I'll still be your friend."

 

*****

 

**July, 105 AG**

Ty Lee did not celebrate her nineteenth birthday. She'd been in the Fire Nation at the time, picking up Azula. Everyone had been stressed and worried and exhausted. The mood hadn't been right. It was the first year she hadn't celebrated since she turned fifteen in the Boiling Rock. Even then, Mai had drawn her a cake in the dirt that covered the concrete of the prison yard, and she'd pretended to blow out the candles. Last year it hadn't even been acknowledged, not even by Mai, who always remembered, who had always reminded Azula when they were at school, so that she could pretend she remembered too. Ty Lee had almost been offended, but when she'd arrived at dinner, she'd taken one look at the dark bags under Mai's eyes, the scrapes on her knuckles that Ty Lee was sure were from preventing Azula from putting her own fists through the wall, and she had understood.

This year, as if she is trying to make up for it, Mai arrives on Kyoshi Island two days before dressed in her Fire Nation finest. Ty Lee almost wonders if she has become the Fire Lady without telling anyone. She sweeps off the ship with all the elegance Ty Lee expects from someone so close to becoming royalty, and Ty Lee wraps her in a hug with as much elegance as anyone expects from someone who spent a year in the circus.

Zuko steps off the ship behind her. Ty Lee notices that Azula avoids his eye. She definitely hadn't done that last time.

"Do you remember the year you were with the circus?" Mai asks. The living room is crowded. Ty Lee only owns a couch and one chair, so she and Suki have hauled in her rickety kitchen chairs.

_"I know I pay you enough for decent furniture," Suki comments._

_"You keep forgetting," Ty Lee reminds her. "I'm supporting someone else now."_

"Yes." Ty Lee is laughing. "I sent you that letter in Omashu."

"You said, we're ten miles away, come see us," Mai remembers. "No mention of how I was actually supposed to get there."

"What did you do?" Zuko asks, leaning forward in interest, and Ty Lee is surprised he has not heard this story before.

"I stole one of my father's camel elephants and I snuck out." She shrugs. "They were busy cooing over Tom-Tom. No one ever cared where I was. It wasn't hard." She turns to Ty Lee. "And I wouldn't have missed your birthday."

"It's true." Ty Lee nods, turning to Suki. "She's been there every years since we met, when we were…"

"Eight." It is the first time Azula has spoken since Suki arrived. "At the Royal Fire Nation Academy for girls. I was seven. You were both eight." She takes a sip of her tea.

"Wow," Suki comments. "I'm not still friends with anyone I knew when I was that young."

"Perhaps some of us simply have more to offer."

Ty Lee is not entirely sure how Azula means that, so she settles for laughing nervously. Then Suki frowns, and Ty Lee remembers that she lost most of her social status, and, by extension, the respect of all of her peers, when her parents died, and she snaps her mouth shut.

Of course, Azula doesn't know that.

Ty Lee is not quite sure if it would have made a difference.

"Well." Zuko stands up. "On that note, I'm going back to the ship for the night. Mai?"

She waves her hand. "You go. We have a lot of catching up to do, here."

Zuko nods at each of them in turn, which is just a little unnecessary, in Ty Lee's opinion, and probably something he's picked up in his time as Fire Lord, before exiting.

"So," Mai says, shifting her weight to lean on the arm of the couch and raising an eyebrow in a way that tells Ty Lee that Mai knows more than she is supposed to, and she knows it. "The two of you, huh?"

"What?" Azula snaps. "How dare you insinuate—"

"Relax." Mai rolls her eyes. "I've known for months."

Ty Lee lowers her eyes. "Oh." Azula is quickly growing as red as the clothing she used to wear back in the Fire Nation.

"Does my brother know?" Her voice is barely a whisper, and it sounds so desperate that Ty Lee turns to her in shock.

"No," Mai answers. "I kept your secret. But it wasn't easy, believe me." She looks vaguely annoyed. Azula looks relieved. Suki just looks uncomfortable. "Oh, I'm sorry," Mai says, a subtle smile playing at her lips, and Ty Lee thinks that she is probably not sorry at all. "Did you two want to take the couch? We don't mind if you cuddle."

"I am perfectly fine right here," Azula huffs, pushing herself farther into her chair pointedly.

Mai shrugs. "Thought I'd offer." But her eyes flit to Ty Lee, gauging her reaction to the rejection. Ty Lee is not disappointed. She'd known Azula would say no. Shows of affection when they are alone still make Azula slightly uncomfortable.

Ty Lee excuses herself to make more tea, and Mai follows her into the kitchen. "What is it really like, dating her?"

"I wouldn't say dating," Ty Lee replies. "We never go out. Not as a couple." She sighs. "It's… tricky."

"Well, I can't say I envy you," Mai says, glancing back over her shoulder into the living room, as Ty Lee fills the kettle with water. "For more reasons than one."

"I wouldn't either."

"At least you're finally over Suki though," she adds. "That was getting a little hard to watch."

"The relationship would have been easier," Ty Lee admits, even though she feels terrible say it.

"Well, nothing is easy when Azula's involved."

"Except for conquering the world," she replies.

"Yeah." Mai's smile is faint. It might just be a trick of the light. "Except for that."

"I mean, Azula's just… just infuriating sometimes," Ty Lee continues. "One time she just wouldn't talk to me. For days. And I had no idea why. And when I… when I try to touch her, she just goes all stiff. I mean, we've been together three months. How far had you and Zuko gotten in three months?"

"Well, three months after Zuko and I started dating, he was palling around with the Avatar and I was in prison," Mai answers. "But we kind of jumped into things pretty quickly." She shrugs. "Everything moves faster during a war. And Zuko was a lot more… in touch with his feelings." She rolls her eyes. "He can be such a drama queen sometimes."

"Well, he has to make up for the fact that you never talk about your feelings ever," Ty Lee points out. It is nice to have Mai here. Ty Lee cannot talk about these things with Suki. This is the first thing Ty Lee has not been able to talk about with Suki. Plus, she and Mai have been through much more. They know each other as well as they've ever known anyone.

"Remember my birthday the year we were in prison?" she asks. "You made me that cake in the dirt?"

Mai groans. "Once I'd finished crying about Zuko long enough."

Ty Lee remembers well, because, in seven years of knowing each other, it had only been the fourth time in her life she'd seen her friend cry, and it had been very unnerving. But she pushes the memories from her head and pastes a smile back on her face. "I think we both did our fair share of crying in prison."

Mai sighs and glances back through the doorway into the living room, where Azula is examining her nails while Suki is trying to look anywhere except at Azula without making it obvious that she is doing exactly that. "I wish you _had_ ended up with Suki," she comments. "I wouldn't have to worry so much."

"I'm fine." Ty Lee pulls the kettle and places it on the tray. "Azula's the one you should be worried about." Mai just shrugs and looks skeptical. "We'd better get back in there," Ty Lee adds. "I think if we wait any longer, the tension in that room will be so thick Suki will be able to cut it with one of her fans."

 

*****

 

"Did you really cry?"

They are the first words out of Azula's mouth after Mai and Suki leave for the night.

"What?"

"In prison," Azula demands. "Did you cry?"

"How much of that conversation did you hear?" Ty Lee gasps, her eyes growing wide.

Azula shrugs. "All of it. You really must learn to lower your voice when you're talking about someone."

"Oh, Azula," she replies. "I'm so sorry."

Azula shrugs again. Her gaze drifts to the window. "There are worse things you could have said about me."

"Did Suki hear me?" Ty Lee whispers.

"What, that you cried?" Azula lets out a short laugh. "I doubt it matters. There is absolutely no chance that you cried more than she did." She looks back at Ty Lee and her smile falls. "No, I think she was too busy trying not to catch my eye," she amends quickly.

It is too late. Ty Lee crosses her arms and fixes Azula with a look that she imagines probably reminds her friend of Ursa. "You know, you might not be killing people anymore, but you're still not a very nice person."

She waits, but Azula does not reply. Finally, she sighs loudly and turns to leave the kitchen.

"Wait!" But Ty Lee continues walking, through the doorway into the living room, past the couch, hand outstretched for the front door. " _I_ cried."

Ty Lee stops in her tracks. It's more the surprise than anything. Surprise and interest. She turns her head, hand still on the doorknob. "What?"

Azula is standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring over Ty Lee's shoulder at the wall. "I've cried."

"I know you've cried, Azula. I've seen it." The morning after her mother left. One inexplicable evening when Azula was twelve. That night on Ember Island. The morning Ty Lee first kissed her. She shakes her head and turns back toward the door. She knows it is probably as good an apology as she will ever get from Azula. She can only remember one time in her life when the Princess said anything even marginally similar to _I'm sorry_. Ironically, she had been crying. She could probably feign tears and extort an apology now, but it's just not worth it.

"I cried while you were in prison," Azula admits. "Regularly."

Ty Lee shrugs. "Well, considering you were the one who put us there—"

"And when my father informed me I wouldn't be accompanying him to the Earth Nation—"

"Because you were missing out on a genocide—"

"And when I was chained to that grate in the courtyard—"

"Because Zuko beat you—"

"Because I was humiliated," Azula exclaims, her voice cracking on the last word.

"Yes." Ty Lee removes her hand from the doorknob and crosses her arms, eyebrows raised. "I imagine that's how Suki felt."

"She was strong," Azula comments, eyes roaming the living room, anywhere except for Ty Lee. "She might have cried, she might have begged for death, but she never gave up the Avatar."

"Because _Suki_ is a good person." Ty Lee's voice is sharp, and Azula's expression drops as she comprehends the implication.

Ty Lee has decided she is not going to leave tonight. She isn't sure where she'd been planning on going anyway. Hands still folded over her chest, she stalks to the bedroom and climbs into her bed facing the wall. After a while, she hears Azula enter the room and crawl into her own bed, but they do not speak.

 

*****

 

When Ty Lee wakes up the following morning, she is unsurprised to see Azula's bed already empty, but stunned to hear voices floating in from the kitchen. She quickly determines that there are, in fact, two voices, and Azula is not having a relapse and talking to her father. She knows it cannot be Mai. She has always mocked Ty Lee for rising with the sun, and nearly being the Fire Lady has not changed that.

Suki is sitting at her kitchen table when Ty Lee emerges from the bedroom, a bowl of unevenly cut vegetables in front of her, looking extremely nervous.

"…and he was as angry at me as I'd ever seen him when I returned unable to deliver news of my brother's death," Azula is saying, though Ty Lee cannot see her, perched on a chair at the other end of the table, without a plate of vegetables but looking equally uncomfortable, until she crosses the threshold. "And that was saying something, considering how upset he was after Zuko managed to evade me at the Boiling Rock."

"Suki," Ty Lee says. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, um, Azula stopped by this morning and mentioned that she thought we needed to talk, and then she, umm," Suki picks up a slightly shredded piece of something green, "offered to make me breakfast."

"Okay, can I talk to you?" Her eyes flit to Azula. "Alone."

"Of course." Suki excuses herself from the table, where Azula still sits, eyebrows deeply furrowed, and follows Ty Lee through the living room and out the front door.

"What did she do?"

"What?"

"What did she do?" Ty Lee repeats.

"Well, like I said, she stopped by my house this morning and said we needed to talk," Suki recalls. "And I, of course, said no, and then she told me it was about you. She said you were upset. And she offered to make me breakfast if I went with her, and you know how much I hate cooking, so I went. Little did I know, she isn't any better. I guess I probably should have seen that coming." Suki sighs. "Anyway, she told me the two of you had some sort of fight."

"It wasn't really a fight," Ty Lee answers. "I'm just angry at her."

"Right, well, I was expecting her to just ask me to talk to you or something. You know, fix it."

Ty Lee nods. "That's not what happened?"

"No, it's not. She, umm," Suki rubs the back of her neck. "She apologized to me."

"She did _what?_ " Ty Lee knows Azula has to have heard her from in the kitchen. In fact, the entire village probably heard her, but she doesn't much care at the moment.

"Yeah, she said she knew I was important to you, and that I cared about you—"

Ty Lee cannot believe what she is hearing, but she makes a mental note to ask Azula some question only she knows the answer to when they go back inside, just to make sure it's really her. "Don't tell me she told you she wanted to be friends."

"I believe what she said is that we should try to be civil to each other," Suki replies.

Azula is still seated at the kitchen table when they reenter the house. She is clearly trying to look casual, lounged against the wall, arms cross comfortably over her chest, but her rapidly tapping foot and the fact that she sits up a little too quickly when she sees them give her away.

Suki sits back down at the table to pick at her bowl of vegetables, and Ty Lee comes to a stop beside Azula's chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Azula look up at her, but she doesn't return the gaze. Then, she feels hesitant fingers brush her own, where it rests at her side. When she does pull away, the fingers wrap themselves around hers, and Azula pulls at her hand until Ty Lee feels Azula's cheek against the back of her palm. Azula holds her there, and Ty Lee looks down at her. Her eyes are wide and nervous, and she looks like she is awaiting judgment, which, Ty Lee realizes, she is. And then Ty Lee smiles at her, and she smiles back.

It is the most intimate gesture Azula has ever initiated.

 

*****

 

**September, 105 AG**

Ty Lee knows she is in trouble when Mai arrives.

She'd woken up eight days ago feeling weak. She'd had a cough, and Azula had wrinkled her nose and told her to keep away from her breakfast. She'd rolled her eyes and left for the training house without eating anything. She'd lost nearly all her sparring matches that day, and at lunch, Suki had pulled her aside and asked her if she was okay. Ty Lee had told her the truth. She was tired. She had a cough. She would be fine tomorrow.

She'd thought she was telling the truth.

The next morning there had been chills. They came on suddenly and left her shivering and drenched in a cold sweat. Azula had looked at her with concern in her eyes, but she had not said a word when Ty Lee, once again, left for work.

She'd made it half way through the morning.

She had been sparring with Kiko, who was relatively new and not yet a skilled fighter, but Ty Lee had been struggling. Only minutes into the fight, she'd found herself gasping for breath between hacking coughs. And then she was dizzy. And then she was on the ground.

She'd opened her eyes and Suki had slowly come into focus. "Can you stand?" she'd asked once Ty Lee had caught her breath, which hadn't been easy, because she felt like she a platypus bear was sitting on her chest.

Ty Lee had nodded, and pushed herself up. Her legs shook, but for a moment, she'd thought she would be okay. Then she'd collapsed. Suki caught her, swept an arm under her knees and picked her up. Ty Lee allowed her head to loll against her friend's chest, gasping for breath once more.

"I'm taking you home."

Now Ty Lee is completely soaked in sweat, hair sticking to her forehead. Her breaths rattle so loudly she is sure they can be heard from the living room.

"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon," Mai comments. She is perched on the edge of the bed, and though she is successful in keeping her voice steady, Ty Lee can see moisture in her eyes.

"When did…" she struggles, and even then, her voice is a hoarse whisper. "When did you… get here?"

"We flew in this morning," Mai answers. "Zuko resurrected one of the old war balloons as soon as we received Azula's letter."

"Azula… wrote to you?"

"Yes," Mai confirms with a nod. "Suki says she's been out of her mind all week. Frustrated, scared, feeling completely useless. Not that she'd ever admit to any of that."

Ty Lee tries to laugh, but it causes a stabbing sensation in her chest. She knows she has been in and out for days now. She has vague memories of both Azula and Suki's faces hovering over her as she lay in the bed trembling and forcing herself to breathe. They both looked so _afraid_.

"Do you…" Ty Lee gasps. "Think I'm… going to die?"

Mai lays a hand on her neck, and it feels as cold as ice. "Of course not," she replies. "You'll be back in that ridiculous makeup in no time."

Ty Lee has always been able to see through Mai's lies.

 

*****

 

Zuko does not come to see her until late that night, and he stands in the doorway for a long time, as if he is still not sure about his decision.

"Don't worry," Ty Lee tries to call. The effort sends to into a coughing fit. "Suki and… Azula aren't… aren't sick… so I don't… don't think… I'm contagious."

Zuko crosses the room slowly and stands awkwardly beside the bed. She pats a spot on the mattress next to her and he sits down. "Listen," he begins, and Ty Lee knows this is going to be a serious conversation. Unlike Mai and most unlike Azula, Zuko has never had trouble expressing his emotions. "Thank you. For everything you've done for Azula this past year."

"Where are you… going to take her?" Ty Lee can feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she knows she cannot start to cry, because once she does, she will not be able to breathe.

"I don't know," Zuko answers, his brow creased in thought.

"You can't… can't take her… back… to the Fire… Nation," Ty Lee replies. "She can't… go back there."

"I know," Zuko admits. "But I just don't see any other options right now. I don't know of anyone else who can stand her. I was thinking of maybe sending her to our mother—at least she'd be away from the palace—but I don't know how that would work out."

"She's gotten… so much better… Zuko," she pleads.

"I know." He smiles at her. It is a sad smile, but it is genuine. It has been days since Ty Lee has seen a genuine smile, and it is so refreshing. "You're a miracle worker."

"Look… Zuko, there's… something I need… to tell you." Ty Lee wishes that she could sit up, that she could be eyelevel with him, but she learned days ago that sitting was a thing of the past.

He looks concerned. Even more so than usual. "Of course."

"Azula wouldn't… wouldn't want me to… tell you… but… when I'm… well… you'll need to know… so you can… help her." She hesitates. "Zuko… Azula and I… we're, umm… we're together… like… like a couple."

Even in the dark, Ty Lee can see the color drain from his face, and she thinks the Fire Lord might be about to pass out. He opens and closes his mouth several times before he is able to make any sound come out. "How long?" he croaks.

"Five months."

Zuko stands up, one palm to his forehead. "Wow, uhh, okay," he is muttering to himself. "Okay." He looks up at her. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know… it just… kind of did." Ty Lee tries to shrug her shoulders, but even the small movement has her gasping for breath.

"How does she treat you?" he demands.

She rolls her eyes. "You're acting… just like Suki… she treats me… fine, Zuko… otherwise… it would have… been over… a long time… ago."

Zuko shakes his head. "I don't know how she's going to take this."

"Azula… will take my death… the way she… takes everything," Ty Lee answers. "She'll… be completely fine… until she's… not."

 

*****

 

Ty Lee waits up for Azula tonight. She's hasn't seen her yet today. Azula rose before she did this morning and has not dropped in since. Finally, when the house has been silent for what feels like hours, the bedroom door creaks open, and a figure enters the room. Ty Lee waits while she changes her cloths and climbs into her bed, tripping and fumbling in the dark.

"Azula."

Azula is silent for a moment, and then, "I didn't know you were still awake."

"Were you… waiting… until I wasn't?"

"No."

Ty Lee wants to laugh, but she can't. "Azula, it's… it's okay to… be afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Azula protests, but her voice shakes and Ty Lee thinks she might be crying.

"Azula, come here."

"Why?" Ty Lee can see her lift her head off the pillow.

"Just… do it."

She watches her friend climb out of bed and pick her way across the room. "Get in here… with me."

"What?"

"Azula." Ty Lee cannot believe how terrified the Princess sounds. "Come on, I… don't bite… often."

Azula laughs weakly as she peels back the blanket and crawls into the narrow bed beside Ty Lee.

"Come on," Ty Lee repeats, slipping her arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and trying to pull her even closer, though she knows she is no longer strong enough. "I've never… never held you… I just… want to hold you… this one time."

Azula nods, though her eyes are still wide, and presses herself into Ty Lee's side, her head resting on her friend's shoulder, forehead pressed against the side of her chin.

"I never thought… you'd outlive me," Ty Lee admits. "I expected… you to get… yourself… killed first."

It is supposed to be a joke, but suddenly she can feel Azula's body shaking under her arm. Suddenly, the shoulder of her shirt is growing wet. It is a surreal experience, she decides, watching your friends mourn your own death.


	3. Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** two non-explicit sexual situations, one instance of self-harm, and implications of sexual abuse; rating increased to M

**October, 105 AG**

They had called it a miraculous recovery.

Ty Lee woke up the next morning with Azula still at her side, arm wrapped around her waist, pretending to be asleep. Until she started coughing up something thick and green, that was, and then Azula practically leaped from the bed and out of the room, and Mai and Suki came rushing in with towels and a bucket moments later.

It had continued for most of the day, and she had been in a perpetual state of chills.

"I know I'm disgusting," she told Suki as she was wiping down her face after an episode of dry heaving.

"No one here cares about that," Suki answered gently. She had looked perpetually near tears for about four days now. She also had not left the house. Ty Lee had lost track of how long she'd been sick, but she was sure Suki had not been to the training room in at least a week. Ty Lee wished that death would just come already, so she and Mai and Zuko could all just go back to their lives, so Azula could start to heal. Being alive was like being an open wound.

The next day, the convulsions had started. They left her exhausted, barely able to open her eyes. Suki and Mai took turns talking to her after each seizure ended, their voices guiding her back to reality.

She had not seen Azula in nearly two days.

And then there were the delusions. Mai walking on the ceiling. Suki with the face of a horse. Zuko completely on fire. Azula. The convulsions and the delusions together tormented her for several more days.

She remembers waking up in the middle of the night, her chest on fire, her lips parted in silent screams that she did not have the breath to sustain, tears streaming down her cheeks, as cold and as wet as if she'd just climbed out of the ocean at the South Pole. Surely, surely she was dying. She looked to Azula's bed for help, but it was empty. She was dying alone in the dark. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to picture daylight, tried to imagine the warmth of the sun streaming through the window. She knew she would not live until the next sunrise.

Voices swam in and out of her head. Zuko's and Mai's and Suki's. "…the end…" "…not sure…" "…what else…" "…fever's breaking…"

And then the sun came up. She felt it before she opened her eyes. The sweat that coated her body was beginning to dry, and the sharp pain in her chest had dulled to an ache.

At the end of her bed, Mai was curled up in a chair that had been borrowed from the kitchen. She jerked awake when Ty Lee started coughing.

"Welcome back." She was actually smiling. The kind she usually reserved for Zuko. And her face looked so bright. "Can you breathe okay?"

Ty Lee nodded. "How long… was I out?"

"Not more than six hours." Mai pulled herself out of the chair and moved to sit on the side of the bed. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was disheveled. Even in the forests of the Earth Kingdom, Mai's hair had always been flawless. "But your fever broke. At least that's what we thought was happening. You're not dead, so it looks like we were probably right."

"Where… is everyone?"

"They're all asleep in the living room—well, Zuko's asleep at the kitchen table, I think." She dropped her eyes. "I was _supposed_ to be watching you." Ty Lee can hear guilt in her voice.

"Well, like… like you said… I'm not dead." She paused to catch her breath. "And Azula?"

"Asleep on the couch."

"She's… still here?"

"Yeah." Mai sighed. "She's been having a tough time. She wouldn't come in here when it started looking like you were really going downhill."

Ty Lee frowned. "I noticed."

"She stood outside your door all night," Mai commented, as if that should have fixed things. "I think she wanted to help us."

Ty Lee crossed her arms, and it hurt, but at least she had the energy. "She could have… slept in here."

"Honestly, I think she was afraid she would wake up and find you dead," Mai replied, and Ty Lee had to admit that she had a point.

"I would have… stayed."

Mai placed and hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "You have always been a much better person than Azula."

It had taken her girlfriend half the day to finally visit her. Ty Lee looked over when she heard the door creaking open, and there Azula was. Her face was red and blotchy and the bags under her eyes were even worse than Mai's.

"It took… you long… enough." Ty Lee tried to sound angry, but she couldn't help but smile. "I needed… needed you… Where were you?"

Azula took a hesitant step into the room. And then another. "I couldn't watch you die, Ty Lee."

"I _needed_ you," she repeated.

Azula looked away. She was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, and she was apparently lost for words. When she finally spoke, she whispered. "I am so sorry."

Ty Lee sighed. "Get over here."

Azula approached the bed like a frightened animal and sat down carefully, like she thought it might break, or more likely, like she thought Ty Lee might break.

"Come here," she groaned, reaching for Azula's shoulder and pulling her down to her side. "I was so sure… I'd never… see you again."

Azula's voice was muffled in the pillow. "The feeling was mutual."

* * *

Now Ty Lee is outside. It has been a week since her fever broke, Suki went back to work three days ago, Zuko and Mai set off in their airship back to the Fire Nation yesterday, and Ty Lee is standing outside for the first time in eighteen days, so she has been told.

There are three steps between the porch and the ground, and Ty Lee is on the first one catching her breath. She is clutching Azula's shoulder so tightly her knuckles are white.

"Are you ready?" Azula asks, and Ty Lee can tell she is trying not to sound impatient.

"Okay," Ty Lee breaths. She takes a step and she is on the ground. She can feel the dirt on the soles of her feet, the grass in between her toes. Azula is smiling serenely while Ty Lee beams. She reaches forward, buries her hands in Azula's hair, and pulls her forward until their lip touch. She had been too out of breath for kissing until two days ago.

She feels Azula's hands at her shoulders, fidgeting, always so nervous when it comes to things like this. It continually amazes her how a person can effortlessly conquer the Earth Nation and still shy away from a relationship.

Ty Lee steps back and smoothes Azula's hair back into place. "What if someone sees?" Azula asks.

"I don't care," Ty Lee replies. "Life is too short. I don't care anymore." Azula does not look convinced. Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "No one's around anyway."

"How far do you want to go?" Azula asks, turning away from Ty Lee to look down the path.

"Let's go to the training room," Ty Lee answers. She cannot remember the last time she sounded so enthusiastic.

Azula furrows her brow. "Don't you think that's a little far?"

"If I don't make it, you can always carry me back," Ty Lee answers cheerfully.

"I'm not doing that," Azula replies quickly, shaking her head.

"Please?" Ty Lee asks. "It's been so long since I've seen the girls."

Azula raises an eyebrow. "Suki lived with us for two weeks."

Ty Lee sighs. "Suki is not the only one there. Believe it or not, I do have other friends. You would know them if you were a little more sociable." She drops her head to Azula's shoulder. "Please?"

She can see in Azula's expression that she has already won, that the Princess is merely deciding whether to admit defeat. Finally, she heaves a sigh. "Fine."

"Yay!" Ty Lee leans heavily on Azula's arm and they set off at the pace of a snail sloth down the road, occasionally stopping so that she can rest her forehead on her girlfriend's shoulder and wheeze until she catches her breath.

* * *

It is another week before Ty Lee goes back to work. Suki is hesitant, determined that she not rejoin the Kyoshi Warriors until she is healthy. Ty Lee argues that she doesn't exactly have to be in peak physical condition to supervise the unloading of a cargo ship.

On the first day, Ty Lee is paired with Suki. They have what Ty Lee has always referred to as a take-a-walk assignment. They are simply to walk the perimeter of the island every other hour to make sure nothing is amiss. Ty Lee suspects that these assignments actually served a purpose during the war, to spot Fire Nation ships in the distance, perhaps, but now the most they ever do is yell at children to get out of the water on the south side of the island, where the Unagi hunts, and pick up liter. It is hardly the place for the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, but Ty Lee suspects Suki placed them here by design.

"How has Azula been handling everything?" Suki asks. They are half way through the day's third trip around the island. For a half an hour they have been walking in comfortable silence, Ty Lee savoring the rough material of her uniform against her skin, the way her fans bump against her hips, the company of her captain, and reminding herself that only two weeks ago, she'd thought she would never do any of this again.

"I think she's glad I'm working again," Ty Lee answers. "She's missed having time alone."

"Doesn't she realize how lucky we all are that you're still… around?" She skirts around the word, _alive_. Though she will never say anything, Ty Lee knows that Suki has been struggling with her near-death.

"Of course," she replies. "And she's been great… or she's tried to be." She remembers the first time she got out of bed, the day after Suki moved back home. Mai had helped her up, and they had walked once around the living room, Ty Lee's arms tight around Mai's stomach. She remembers Azula's eyebrows drooping in sadness, the corners of her mouth pressed into a frown. When Ty Lee got up that evening, Azula had insisted on being the one to help her, but then when she'd wrapped her arms around Azula's shoulders to support herself, Azula's body had stiffened and she'd hung her head and refused to meet Ty Lee's eyes. It had been a very somber trip around the living room. Azula is not used to taking care of others, and they have not shared a bed again.

"Well, we're all glad to have you back," Suki says.

"Yeah." Ty Lee laughs. "I could tell by the way you practically begged me to take another week off."

Suki holds up her hands. "Well, I had to make sure my second-in-command was back to one hundred percent as soon as possible. If that meant taking more time—"

"I'm not really your second-in-command, you know," Ty Lee points out.

Suki is positively beaming. "You're about to be."

"What?"

"The girls and I discussed it last week," Suki explains, the words tumbling from her mouth like she's been dying to say them all morning. "We're naming you my lieutenant. You'll be the official second-in-command of the Kyoshi Warriors." She is practically bouncing in her step. "The ceremony's next month."

"But…" Ty Lee stutters. "But I didn't even do anything."

"Yes you do," Suki answers, turning and placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Every day. I'm sorry it took you being gone for us to realize it."

"I…" Ty Lee is opening and closing her mouth rapidly, trying to make something come out, but it is becoming rapidly harder to breathe. "I need to sit." She drops unceremoniously onto the sand. Suki kneels down beside her. "I'll be fine," Ty Lee assures her between heavy breaths. "Just got a little… worked up."

"Ty Lee?"

"Yeah?"

Suki's eyes are glistening, but there is a smile on her face. "I'm really glad you didn't die." And then Ty Lee is being wrapped in one of the tightest hugs she thinks she has ever experienced.

"Thanks," she answers, reaching to place a hand on her friend's back. "Me too."

* * *

"Are you sure you're well enough for this?"

"I told you, I'm fine."

Ty Lee's mouth travels down Azula's neck, toward her clavicle. Her hands toy with the hem of the Princess' shirt.

"But are you positive?" Her voice shakes. She is concealing panic, Ty Lee realizes, and she pulls her head back. Azula is pressed against the wall, eyes wide, face drained of color.

"Azula, we don't have to do this if you don't want to." She has to admit, she is disappointed. Tonight seemed the perfect occasion. She is healthy enough to be back at work, she has a new perspective on life that makes her much more amenable to taking risks, and she is being promoted. But she will stop. If that is what Azula wants, she will stop.

"I want to," Azula insists, but her expression does not change.

She removes her hands, and lowers her head. "No, you don't. It's okay. We can wait." She backs up and lowers herself to sit on the arm of the couch.

"Ty Lee…" Azula takes a step further.

"It's really okay, Azula."

"No, it's really not." She hears a loud sigh, and then suddenly Azula is kneeling in front of her, taking Ty Lee's wrists in her trembling hands. "It's not that I don't want to." She pauses, and Ty Lee can tell she is still debating what she is going to say next. "I've just never… done this before."

Ty Lee is laughing. "Is that it?" Azula looks shocked. "I haven't either. In case you haven't noticed, there aren't exactly a lot of girls out there who are up for it."

Azula draws her eyebrows together in frustration, her cheeks becoming red. "That's not what I meant." She looks so _angry_ with herself.

"What do you mea—ohh." Her eyes widen. "Really? You haven't? Not even with Lok?"

"Lok kissed me one time," Azula explains, her eyes fixed on the wooden floor. "And we never talked about it again."

"Oh," Ty Lee replies, and at first she is surprised, because if she'd been a Princess, she certainly would have taken advantage of that, but then she remembers Azula's complete haplessness at that party on Ember Island, the twelve-hour training schedule she'd been keeping since they were children, the night she appeared in tears at Ty Lee's window, and it makes more sense. "Well, that's okay. There's a first time for everything."

And then they are in the bedroom, tumbling onto Ty Lee's bed, Azula pressed into the sheets gasping and shuddering as Ty Lee's hands roam her body. They are everywhere—her sternum, her ribcage, her hip bone—all at once. The top of Ty Lee's lip just brushes the wrinkled skin of Azula's scarred shoulder. She runs her fingers over every scar, memorizing them, the ones that look like small, white smudges on her arms and torso from her early days training firebender, the long, thin, purple ones on her back that Ty Lee thinks have nothing at all to do with fire and everything to do with Ozai. She can feel fingers twitching nervously at her waist. Azula's hips roll into hers, and she is sure it is involuntary because, with her eyes squeezed shut and the back of her head straining into the pillow, Azula doesn't look like she is capable of doing much of anything voluntarily right now.

Ty Lee hooks her leg around Azula's calf and flips them, and all Azula does is squeeze at her biceps and look intimidated, so Ty Lee laughs and guides her hands with her own, nuzzling her head into the crook of her girlfriend's neck so she can feel a racing pulse against her cheek.

"Wait," she gasps as her breath begins to quicken and her lungs can't quite keep up.

Azula is propped on her elbows in an instant. "Are you alright?" She sounds about as breathless as Ty Lee feels, and it fills her with an odd sense of pride.

"Yes, just give me a minute." Her breaths are slow and deliberate. Azula is studying her face like one of her old firebending scrolls, and Ty Lee finds that she _likes_ it. Finally the wheezing stops and she is able to catch her breath. "Okay, go ahead."

The moonlight peeks in through the blinds that night, and Ty Lee basks in it, Azula curled once again into her side. Ty Lee wonders if she is also pretending to be asleep. She presses a kiss to Azula's temple, and the Princess murmurs something unintelligible and snuggles into her. Ty Lee decides she is much too affectionate to be awake.

She brushes a strand of hair behind Azula's ear, and when her companion still does not stir. She leans over so that their foreheads rest against each other and whispers, "I love you."

Just because she is ready to say it does not mean that Azula is ready to hear it.

* * *

**December, 105 AG**

The first time Ursa comes to visit Azula, Zuko gives Ty Lee very little notice. She thinks the letter was probably sent in plenty of time, but mail is still slow to reach Kyoshi Island, and by the time Ty Lee knows she is coming, they have a day and a half to prepare.

Azula had taken the news better than Ty Lee had expected her to. Of course she had lead with, "Zuko and Mai are visiting," and then just happened to mention that "Your mother and half-sister are with them" in passing.

Ty Lee has met Ursa only a handful of times, and her young daughter even fewer. She seems to always look sad, something that Ty Lee thinks she remembers from her limited interaction with Azula's mother in her childhood, and she wonders if Ursa has always been that way. She thinks it is more apparent now than it ever was before though, and she wonders if it is just because Ty Lee is older, or if maybe it has to do with her children now being adults.

"Should we move our beds?" Azula is asking. Zuko's letter had informed them that they would be arriving around noon, and that time is rapidly approaching.

"Why?" Ty Lee asks. "It's not like they're going to be in our bedroom." _And even if they are…_ They had pushed their beds together three weeks ago, no longer wishing to sleep separately and tired of crunching into a bed made for one. After one night of repeatedly getting stuck in the crack between the mattresses, Ty Lee had been ready to simply go out and buy a larger bed, but Azula had begged her not to, _"People will get suspicious,"_ and now Azula sleeps in the crack every night.

Part of Ty Lee wonders if Ursa would even care. She will probably be much more preoccupied with the fact that her daughter is actually talking to her and not talking to a hallucination of her father. Ursa had been most concerned every time she'd visited the palace and been greeted with the news that there had been no sighting of Azula, and she'd been even more worried during the three weeks Ty Lee had spent at the palace preparing to take the Princess away.

Zuko and Mai are first off the ship, arm in arm, as always. It has never annoyed Ty Lee before now. She has never been so envious. Never so completely disgusted that they can show off their relationship to the world. Azula's hand is inches from her, and she longs to take it, but she knows that Azula will either pull away or stand there trying to pretend she doesn't notice. Either way, it will get her into trouble later. Ursa steps onto the ramp next, a young girl clutching her hand. Kiyi has grown in the two and a half years since Ty Lee last saw her. Her hair is long now, nearly to her waist, and she no longer carries the doll from which she used to be so inseparable.

Ty Lee runs to hug Mai the moment she steps off the ramp, and Zuko and Azula actually shake hands, prompting Ty Lee to wonder how much sibling bonding she missed while she was on death's doorstep.

"You look well," Zuko comments.

"Oh," Ty Lee replies with a smirk. "I'm _very_ well."

"She still can't run all the drills with the rest of them," Azula informs him smugly, because, for once, she is not the one who is weak.

"Hey," Ty Lee protests. "I almost died, okay?"

That shuts Azula up.

"Hi, Kiyi!" she exclaims when Ursa and her daughter join them on the docks. "Do you remember me? My name's Ty Lee!"

Beside her, Azula is staring at the woman attached to Kiyi's hand. And then, out of nowhere, Ursa lets go and wraps her older daughter in a hug. Azula does not push her away, but she leaves her arms dangling limply at her sides.

Ty Lee is the one to break the silence. "Let's go back to our house," she suggests, taking Kiyi's now vacant hand. "We'll make lunch."

* * *

Mai and Ty Lee walk on the beach that afternoon, Kiyi running ahead of them. Mai hadn't seemed altogether enthused when Zuko had suggested that the two of them take his youngest sister to the beach ("I'm not a babysitter" had been her exact words), but she'd realized soon enough what he was trying to do, and here they are.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Ty Lee asks after several minutes of silence. Mai has been staring distractedly at her fiancé's half-sister almost since they left, her eyebrows drawn together in thought.

"Their ruined childhoods probably," she shrugs without taking her eyes off Kiyi. "I understood when Zuko wanted to get closure the first time, but he's gotten closure at least four times now."

"Maybe it's not about Zuko this time," Ty Lee replies slowly.

"Ursa?"

"Or Azula," she answers as Kiyi runs into the waves. "Do you think she knows how to swim?"

"Her village isn't near the ocean," Mai answers, but Ty Lee doesn't put too much stock in that reply, because if there is one thing she learned in the vast forests and deserts of the Earth Kingdom, it is that it's impossible to not be near the ocean in the Fire Nation.

"What did I miss last time you were here?" Ty Lee asks. The question seems sudden, but it has been gnawing at her since she saw Azula shake hands with her brother. She hates feeling out of the loop.

Mai sighs, unfixing her eyes from the young girl for the first time since they set off. "Not much. Mostly the four of us arguing over whether we should try to bathe you and falling asleep in strange places."

"But Zuko and Azula," Ty Lee replies. "They seem so… friendly now."

"I don't know if friendly's the right word," Mai answers. "More like civil." She sighs again, and Ty Lee recognizes it as her about-to-tell-a-long-story sigh. "Azula had a hard time. I mean, you know her, she tried not to let it show, but she was a mess. I think she spent more energy trying not to cry that week than she spent capturing Ba Sing Se." She pauses and holds up a hand against the sun so she can see Kiyi, dragging her feet through the sand as the waves lap at her ankles. "But one morning we woke up and she wasn't there, and, after arguing admittedly a lot more than we should have about who was going to go find her, Zuko went." Mai shrugs. "I don't know where she was or what they talked about, but when they got back four hours later, Zuko had his arm around her shoulders, and he took her into the kitchen and made her some tea. I guess you could say that was the turning point."

"Oh." It is not the answer Ty Lee was expecting, but then, she doesn't know what answer she was expecting.

"I would have killed you if you'd died," Mai adds.

"Aww," she replies. "I feel the same way about you."

She is stopped by an arm on her shoulder, and when she turns around, Mai looks somehow even more serious than usual (she thinks it is in the eyebrows). "I'm serious, Ty Lee," she says in a voice so heavy that Ty Lee thinks it might crush her. "You're my best friend. But don't think you'll ever hear me say that again." She drops her arm and continues walking like she has already forgotten about it. She and Azula can be so very alike sometimes.

She jogs to catch up, and she can barely feel her chest tighten. "Did you know I had a crush on you once?" She is not sure what makes her say it. Maybe so that Mai will not be the only one who has borne her soul.

"No," Mai answers, her eyebrows shooting up past her bangs. "When?"

"When we were ten," Ty Lee replies conversationally. "You were my first crush."

"Wow, I'm honored." She looks out at the water for a moment before turning back to Ty Lee. "You know, I've known Azula was into women for a _long_ time. As secretive as she apparently is about it, it's always been pretty obvious. I mean, what was with all those handmaidens? Even Zuko's wore more clothing, and he was a sixteen-year-old boy. I really don't know what she expected us to think. But, you, I didn't see coming. Not until Suki."

Ty Lee kicks at a shell that is half buried in sand. "Well, I didn't really know either until Suki. I mean, there was you, but I kind of just told myself I was confused and stopped thinking about it."

"Was it difficult?"

Ty Lee shrugs. "I was pretty young. It wasn't that hard to tell myself I was mistaking friendship for romance."

"Oh." Mai hesitates. "Did it hurt?"

"A little."

"Huh," she murmurs, and then, before Ty Lee knows what it happening, Mai is swooping toward her.

And then they are kissing. Mai's lips are dry and rough, and not entirely unpleasant. It is kind. It is much kinder than she imagined a kiss from Mai would feel. But it is strange, and it lasts longer than it probably needs to, and then Mai pulls away with an odd look on her face. Ty Lee bursts out laughing. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to know what it would feel like," Mai explains with a chuckle.

"And?"

She shrugs. "Honestly, it wasn't one of the better kisses I've had."

"It was kind of awkward."

"I'm glad we're agreed."

Mai starts to walk again, and this time, Ty Lee is only a step behind her. "So you haven't decided to abandon Zuko in favor of lady callers then?"

"I'm afraid not," Mai answers, her eyes scanning the beach once again for their charge. "Not that I could, even if I wanted to." Ty Lee thinks she is referring to what her parents would say. She is very like Zuko in that regard. Even though they have both been free of their fathers for years, they are slaves to approval.

"To bad," Ty Lee replies with another laugh. "Azula and I would have been glad to have you."

"Speak for yourself," Mai comments. "I'm not sure Azula would appreciate you offering her up for threesomes without her knowledge."

"Probably not," Ty Lee agrees. "Especially since she still gets nervous when we—"

Mai slaps her hand over Ty Lee's mouth before she can finish. "I don't need that mental image."

Ty Lee skims the beach for Kiyi, and finally spots her seated in the sand a ways away. "How much longer do you think we need to stay out here?"

Mai groans. "I wish I knew. They have a lot of baggage they need to unpack."

"I just hope we don't find my house burned to the ground," she replies.

"I'd like to think five years as Fire Lord have taught Zuko to control his temper," Mai comments, and Ty Lee remembers that Zuko is the only person in that house capable of producing a substantial flame. It still seems strange to think about Azula without her firebending, even though Ty Lee is willing to bet that being without her bending is the only reason Azula has become so human. She would like to think the Princess is past a point where she could go back, but she is not so sure.

* * *

The house is still standing when Ty Lee and Mai return with Kiyi, and they cannot even hear anyone screaming from the porch. Azula slips her arm through Ty Lee's as soon as they are through the front door, and Ty Lee shoots her a questioning look because this goes against everything Azula has been saying for months.

"I told them," she whispers to Ty Lee.

Her mouth drops open. "What? Why?"

Azula looks taken aback. "I thought you would be happy."

"I am," Ty Lee answers quickly, hoping against hope that Azula did not make this decision just to please her (though she realizes that sounds very unlike Azula). "I just didn't think it was what you wanted."

"I want _this_." She gestures between them. "And they were going to find out eventually." Ty Lee accepts it, even though it is not really an answer. "Zuko is buying us a bed."

"What?" she gasps. "He doesn't have to do that. We can afford a bed. _You_ just won't let me buy one."

"I know." Azula answers. "But _he_ 'll buy it. It will look like it's for him. For his ship or something."

Ty Lee raises an eyebrow. "You don't think people will figure it out when they see us moving it into the house?"

"People know better than to spy on me," Azula answers as if it should be obvious. Ty Lee doubts this very much, because watching Azula when she doesn't know she is being watched is about the most entertaining thing to do on Kyoshi Island.

In the kitchen, Mai has taken the seat beside Zuko, which Azula must have pulled in from the living room. Kiyi is already seated on her mother's lap. Zuko beams up at Ty Lee when they enter. Of course, Zuko already knew, she reminds herself. Ursa looks at her in a way Ty Lee has never been looked at before. A mixture of concentration and concern and _awe_. And then, slowly, she smiles too.

She lifts Kiyi out of her lap, rises from her chair, and pulls Ty Lee into a tight hug that she thinks should be awkward but isn't at all. "Thank you for bringing my daughter back to us," she whispers so that no one else can hear.

Ty Lee remembers how Ursa was during the three weeks she spent at the palace the previous year, when Azula was only a stuttering shell of herself. They hadn't spent much time together, but when Ty Lee had seen Ursa, she'd been despairing, consumed with guilt. Ty Lee had been positive she would have taken even the power-crazed ultra-perfectionist her daughter had been during the war over the trembling shadow at the foot of the bed. All the same, she'd relocated temporarily to the palace to handle Azula's care personally. At the time, Ty Lee had wondered if it was out of some sense of penance. Now she realizes that it was only ever because Ursa loves her oldest daughter. Just as she loves her other children.

Ty Lee can hardly take all the credit, because she is pretty sure that being away from the palace is what really brought Azula back, more than anything she did.

"What juicy details did I miss?" Mai asks, lounging back in the chair. Ty Lee leans back against the counter. Azula's arm is still folded around her bicep rather possessively, and Ty Lee cannot help but wonder if there is something she is trying to prove.

* * *

Ty Lee lays at a diagonal in their bed that night, simply because she can. There is no crack for her arms and legs to get stuck in, the last boundary between them gone. She rests her head on Azula's chest and plays with the hem of her shirt. She can feel a hand tangled in her hair, one finger absently tapping the back of her head.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Who says I'm thinking about anything?" Azula's voice is defensive, and Ty Lee knows that, as always with Azula, she has bitten off more than she maybe wants to chew right now.

"Your finger is about to bore a hole in my skull."

Azula sighs and her hands stills, and, for a moment, Ty Lee really thinks she might not answer. "If I was the Fire Lord, she would be dead."

Ty Lee turns her head so she can see Azula's face. "Who?"

"My mother," Azula answers flatly. "Who else?"

She draws her eyebrows together. "Why would she be dead?"

"I would have had her hunted down and killed the moment I ascended to the throne." Azula is staring straight up at the ceiling. Ty Lee says nothing, and finally, Azula continues. "That's why my fire's gone. Because I found out my mother loved me."

"You didn't know that?"

Azula shakes her head. "She always seemed to love Zuko so much more. After she left, I asked my father, and he agreed."

"Of course he did," Ty Lee whispers, her eyes wide. "To control you."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Azula snaps. "I was only eight." She sighs again. The hand that it not buried in Ty Lee's hair reaches up to rub at her eyes. "The most powerful firebender in the world, and all that strength was based on a lie."

"I'm surprised you have a problem with that," Ty Lee admits, twirling the hem of the shirt around her finger. Her nails brush her girlfriend's stomach and she can feel her shiver.

"I spent years thinking that no one would ever love me."

It is the most surprising thing Ty Lee has ever heard Azula say. What's more surprising than Azula admitting to it is the fact that she ever _cared_. The Azula that Ty Lee knew at fourteen never seemed to notice that she was unpopular, and she was always perfectly content to rule through fear and manipulation.

"You were easier to play that way," Ty Lee points out, even though she is not sure if she should. "His approval was so important to you because you thought you had no one else."

"And I was content with his _generosity_ because I thought real love was something I would never have." Her voice is bitter and Ty Lee can sense that there is rage present, barely held at bay.

She plucks Azula's hand off her face and brings her palm to her lips. Azula's smile is barely a flicker.

"Do you think my brother always cared about me?" she asks, and Ty Lee marvels at how talkative she is tonight. "Or do you think he started when he realized I was sick?"

"I don't know, Azula," she replies. "Mai and I always cared about you."

The Princess' eyes roll towards her. "Then why did you turn on me?"

"Mai turned on you because you were about to kill Zuko, and I turned on you because you were about to kill her," Ty Lee explains. "And I'm sorry about what it did to you, but I don't regret my decision, and neither does she."

"So you just cared about her more than me?" She sounds angry and offended, but her voice is laced with an insecurity that prevents Ty Lee from returning those emotions.

She rolls her eyes. "Stop making this into a contest. I didn't have to care about Mai more than you to value her life more than your friendship."

"So you did care about me more."

"Ughhh! I cared about you both the same!" She turns her head away again.

"Do you know what happened after the agni kai?"

Ty Lee is surprised that Azula is letting the previous subject drop. She has never known her to accept a tie. Azula always wins when she can help it. "What do you mean?"

She remembers the aftermath Ozai's defeat clearly. There were two very confusing days, during which no one was quite sure who the Fire Lord was. Guesses had ranged from Zuko to Azula to Ozai to Katara to Aang. Zuko and Aang had spent hours at a time holed up in the expansive royal library looking up whether a coronation stands if it is interrupted and the exact rules of an agni kai. Finally the Fire Sages had stepped in and determined that Azula had been the Fire Lord prior to the agni kai, even though the crown had never touched her head, that Katara's participation was fair because Azula had engaged her in combat first, and that, much to her dismay, she was the one who had rightfully won the crown, having dealt the final blow. And, after much stealthy political maneuvering, which had only been complicated by the fact that all of the known ways to abdicate the throne had involved the loss of an agni kai or the symbolic passing on of one's fire, and Katara was not firebender, Zuko had been crowned Fire Lord.

Then, there had been a demand from the Earth King to send Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee to the Earth Kingdom in chains to stand trial. Ty Lee knows that Zuko got Azula out of it because of a combination of her mental illness and age, but Mai and Ty Lee had both been a year older and entirely healthy, and even though their crimes had been slightly less severe, Ty Lee is still not sure what diplomatic strings Zuko had pulled to save them. But somehow, she doesn't think Azula is referring to either of those things.

"I was chained to that grate for five hours," she replies. "While they waited for the Avatar. Zuko wouldn't leave my side. It was very annoying. I only wanted to have my mental breakdown in solitude."

If she is being honest, Ty Lee does not have a lot of sympathy, as she an Mai had still been scrubbing floors at the Boiling Rock five hours after the war ended, so she just answers, "Oh."

"And then the Avatar did show up, and that _water peasant_ suggested that he take my bending away." She sounds outraged. "But my dear brother wouldn't let him. _I'll make sure she's not a threat_." She heaves a loud groan in annoyance and rolls over without warning, knocking Ty Lee off of her.

"But, Azula," she sits up and rubs her head, "That was almost six years ago. None of us are the same person we were back then."

"I know," Azula mutters as Ty Lee settles herself against her back. "But that doesn't make it any less humiliating." She is silent for a long time, and Ty Lee thinks she has fallen asleep, but then she mutters, more to herself than anything, "I suppose it's good she's not dead."

* * *

Ty Lee thinks it must be a twist of fate that on one of the rare mornings that she rises before Azula, Ursa knocks on her front door early and unexpectedly.

"Azula's still asleep," Ty Lee explains as she steps aside so the woman can enter.

"That's alright," Ursa replies. "I would love to speak with you. Unless you'd rather I go," she adds quickly.

"Of course not," Ty Lee answers, surprised. "I was just about to make myself something to eat."

And that is how she ends up sitting across from Azula's mother eating a fruit salad. Ursa is silent for a long time, first studying Ty Lee and then staring absently out the window. "The weather to beautiful this weekend," Ty Lee says in an attempt to break the awkward silence that has engulfed them. "You picked a good time to come."

"It is," Ursa agrees quietly. "No wonder Azula likes it here."

"She does?" Ty Lee asks in surprise, because even though she knows Azula prefers Kyoshi Island to the palace, that is not exactly saying much.

Ursa nods. "Though, I don't think the weather is the only reason." She returns her gaze to Ty Lee. "How is she really?"

Ty Lee sighs. "She struggles. She's angry sometimes and scared sometimes. I mean, she never tells me that. You know how she is—or maybe you don't—but she tries. That's the important thing."

Ursa smiles, but it does not make her look any less sad. "I want to you know that, whatever you may hear, I have always loved both of my children. I have never loved one more than the other. I may have paid more attention to Zuko when they were children, but it was out of a sincere belief that he needed me more, because his father liked him less." She furrows her brow, her expression laced guilt, and it strikes Ty Lee just how much Azula resembles her mother. "I see now that I was mistaken. That was the exact reason why it was the other way around."

"Ozai made her believe that she was completely unloved," she tells her, even though perhaps she shouldn't. It is nice to have someone to talk about Azula with who is so amenable to the idea.

"I should have taken them with me," Ursa replies fiercely. "I wanted to. I wanted to take both of them, but he threatened me, and I was sure I wouldn't make it out of the capitol with them."

"I don't think you can blame yourself for that," Ty Lee answers. "Ozai would have had you killed."

Ursa shakes her head. "I should have tried. If I'd known what he was going to do to them, I would have." She turns back to the window. "I remember the first time I met you."

"Really?" Ty Lee gasps. It had been so long ago, and she'd been able to tell, even at eight years old, that Ursa had other things on her mind.

She nods. "I liked you. I thought you'd be a good influence on her." A ghost of a smile. "Mai, I wasn't so sure about." Ty Lee laughs and finds that she isn't at all surprised. "I remember when Azula was born," Ursa adds, turning back to the window. "I used to picture us sitting in the garden, having a cup of tea and talking about someone she'd met, talking about love. How I looked forward to that day." She sighs. "And then she got older and more rambunctious and I told myself, _it's okay, we can still have that talk. Mischievous girls still fall in love._ And then she started firebending, and as she spent more and more time being trained by her father, I watched that mischievous little girl start to disappear." Ursa shakes her head. "She… wasn't a weapon yet, but I could see her heading in that direction and I thought, _we will never have that conversation. My daughter will never live enough to fall in love._ " Ty Lee thinks she might be near tears now, but she continues talking. "By the time I regained my memories, Azula was already gone, and when she returned she was… not herself, not any version of herself, the girl or the weapon. I had completely given up." She turns back to Ty Lee, and although her cheeks are damp, she looks the happiest Ty Lee has ever seen her. "My daughter and I had that talk yesterday. Of course, I always imagined it would be some noble boy she met a court…" She trails off, drops her eyes for just a moment before, once again, meeting Ty Lee's. "But I'm glad she has you. I just wish it didn't make both your lives so complicated."

Ty Lee remembers watching Zuko and Mai disembark, remembers the anger. "I just wish I could hold her hand."

"She is still very much her father's daughter," Ursa comments sadly. "She fought just has hard as Zuko did for his approval. I am sure she was supposed to make a diplomatic marriage." _To a man_. The implication hangs in the air. "Some habits die hard."

Ty Lee's eyebrows shoot up. "So the reason she doesn't want anyone to know is because Ozai would disapprove?"

"I will not pretend to know Azula as well as a mother should know her daughter," Ursa answers. "But that is my guess."

* * *

Zuko and Mai arrive later than expected with Kiyi in tow. They both look completely exhausted and even grimmer than usual, and Ty Lee takes one look at them and ushers them into the kitchen glaring at Azula until she surrenders her chair.

When Zuko and Mai both have cups of tea in front of them, Zuko speaks up. "We, umm… we have a bit of an announcement."

"You've decided to abdicate the throne," Azula guesses, triumph apparent in her voice. He narrows his eyes at her.

"This might not be the best way to tell you." He is rubbing the back of his neck. Beside him, Mai stares at the floor. "But things are going to start moving quickly when we return to the capital, and we want you all to be the first to know."

"The suspense is killing me," his sister drawls, rolling her eyes. "Do away with the speeches and spit it out already."

"I'm pregnant," Mai murmurs barely loud enough for Ty Lee to hear. Ursa's hand flies to her mouth. Ty Lee gasps. Azula freezes, her lips parted. Zuko's face goes very red.

Ursa is the first to recover. "How far along?"

"About two months," Mai answers, inspecting her fingernails and obviously trying to look casual. _So very much like Azula._

"Why is this the first we're hearing about this?" Ty Lee demands, mildly offended, hands planted on her hips.

"I just told Zuko last night," Mai explains. "I was… hoping I was wrong."

"You don't want it?" Azula demands sharply.

"I mean, it's a little early," Mai replies.

Ursa studies her son for a moment. "So, you'll be planning a wedding." It is a statement, not a question.

Zuko nods. "I don't see that we have much of a choice." Ty Lee cannot imagine the disaster that would ensue from the Crown Prince or Princess being born out of wedlock. If it has ever happened before, it did not make it to the history books. Ty Lee does not even know what the procedure would be, whether Zuko would even be allowed to claim the child as his own, let alone, whether it would be able to inherit. She doubts that Zuko knows either.

"I never saw us getting married," Mai confides in her that evening. They are along the beach again. Azula and Zuko are walking an arm's-length away from each other up ahead.. "I don't know why. I love him. We just never talked about ever getting married."

"If he wasn't the Fire Lord, no one would even know," Ty Lee points out.

Mai lifts her head, eyes meeting Zuko and Azula's backs. "If she wasn't the Fire Lord's sister, no one would care."

* * *

**February, 106 AG**

It is cold on the ship. Kyoshi Island is beautiful, but Ty Lee often forgets how close to the South Pole it is. They will be entering Fire Nation waters today, and then it will be warmer, but until then, the silk dress that she has been looking for an occasion to wear since just after the end of the war is not thick enough. Azula is much warmer in her armor.

Zuko had requested that Azula wear a dress, and Ty Lee understands his reasoning. There will be spectators from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes present, and the image of Azula in armor is sure to stir memories of the war that devastated their nations, only five and a half years gone. Ty Lee had mentioned buying a dress to Azula, watched her eyes flit down to her scarred shoulder, and promptly dropped the idea, and so Azula's armor had arrived on the island two weeks before they were due to set out.

She can remember the first time she ever saw Azula in armor. Azula had been twelve, and Ty Lee, thirteen. At the time, it had escaped Ty Lee why the Fire Lord would want to outfit his only remaining heir with battle armor, but that was before she'd realized that he'd seen his children as disposable. The armor had looked bulky and cumbersome at the time, but she'd grown into it over the next year, in both body and mind, so that when Ty Lee saw her in it again, nearly a year and a half later, it had been like some natural extension of her body.

That night, Azula had shown up at the window of the bedroom she'd shared with her sister, and Ty Lee hadn't been able to let her in, so they'd climbed up onto the roof. Azula had been wearing only a robe, and Ty Lee had been able to see deep bruises blossoming across her chest like fingerprints. She hadn't asked about them. She'd simply lain her hand on Azula's back while she cried. Hours later, when the Princess had finally clambered to her feet and was scaling the roof back toward the palace, Ty Lee had thought she'd seen streaks of dried blood staining the insides of her friend's legs, but it may have been a trick of the light.

Azula does not fill it out as well as she used to. She is not a muscular as she once was, and it doesn't look quite right without the regal topknot that had once been her signature hairstyle, but that she seemed to have abandoned during her time in the Earth Kingdom. Ty Lee had never quite noticed how haunted her face looks until now.

Suki, who was also invited to the wedding, much to her surprise (but not to Ty Lee's), had stiffened the moment she'd seen Azula donning the armor in one of the corridors that morning. She'd gone back into her room and had not answered her door for nearly an hour. When she had, her face was red and blotchy, but she was smiling, and she'd waved at Azula, who was lurking several feet behind Ty Lee looking very much like she'd rather be elsewhere.

Around midday, they can start to make out the Gates of Azulon in the distance, and she notices that Azula is gripping the railing so tightly her knuckles are turning white. She settles her hand on top of Azula's and pries her fingers open, laces her own fingers between them. She realizes that this is the first time Azula has been back to the palace since Ty Lee collected her a year and a half ago. "It'll be okay," she whispers, but she is not sure that Azula hears her. She is so worked up that the fact that Ty Lee is holding her hand in plain sight of the crew escapes her notice.

Ty Lee understands the gravity of war's impact when she looks at Azula and Suki.

* * *

Azula is not in the wedding. It is a decision Mai and Zuko both struggled with, and, as Zuko once confided, one of the hardest he has ever had to make, but she is wearing battle armor and is still a little unpredictable, and ultimately, he cannot have her standing up there with him like he is condoning what she has done. Not when half of his guests are from the Earth and Water Nations. "I might as well invite assassination attempts," he'd told her.

Ty Lee is in the wedding, however. Azula comes to her room the morning of the ceremony—they are not sharing because of what the other guests might think—and Ty Lee winds her arms around her neck, kisses her until she finally feels Azula's hands slide to the small of her back ( _always so nervous_ ), and tells her they need to go or they'll be late. They walk together to the suite of rooms that have been set aside for the bride to prepare. Mai emerges, hugs Azula, and ushers Ty Lee inside. She parts from Azula with a quick squeeze of the hand and a promise that they will see each other right after the ceremony. _Right_ after.

Mai's robes are long and intricate, covered in crimson and gold and lined with small, black gems that Ty Lee thinks were probably mined from the Earth Kingdom when the Fire Nation still had colonies there, not that she will say anything. Ty Lee did not realize her hair had gotten so long, but now that it's down, it brushes her waist. Mai is forgoing her usual three-bun style for something more ceremonial, but after angrily twisting the same uncooperative strand of hair four times, she allows Ty Lee to take over, looping the twists through each other and pinning them so that they look like delicate, black flowers, all in a line drawing the eye to the topknot on which the Fire Lady's crown will soon be perched. The first Fire Lady in fifteen years.

"Your first regal topknot," Ty Lee sighs. "I can't believe you're going to be a queen."

Mai sighs and drops her head into her hands. "I'm getting married."

"I know!" Ty Lee squeals. "Isn't it exciting?"

"Uh huh."

"Oh, come on, Mai," Ty Lee protests, coming around to the front of the chair and kneeling beside her friend. "You guys are practically married already. And you've been affianced for, what? Three years?"

"Easy for you to say," Mai grumbles. "You never have to get married." Ty Lee's face falls, and Mai covers the hand resting on her shoulder with her own.

Ty Lee shakes her head and stands back up. "It's fine. Are you ready? I think we have to go soon."

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess." She almost sounds bored.

The halls of the palace are empty, filled with an eerie stillness that makes Ty Lee's hair stand on end. They walk in silence and there is an odd heaviness about it, like they are walking to the gallows. She can almost feel Mai's stomach churning.

"Mai, do you love Zuko?"

"What?" She turns her head so suddenly that her topknot slips to the side, and they have to stop so Ty Lee can re-pin it.

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do," Mai replies. There is a ferocity behind her voice, and Ty Lee knows she can only be telling the truth. She reaches out and takes her friend's hand. She is surprised to find that it is shaking.

"Then what are you so worried about?"

Mai sighs and studies the tile for a moment. "I'm going to be a mother in five months."

Ty Lee crosses her arms and knits her brows together. "What's wrong with that?"

"I'm only twenty."

"You'll be twenty-one in a month," Ty Lee argues.

Mai groans, pressing her fingers to her temple. "Forgive me. That makes a huge difference."

"You're going to be great at it," Ty Lee assures her, smiling gently and resting a hand on her best friend's shoulder. "And even if you're not, there will be nannies, and you know Zuko was practically born to be a father."

"I don't want my child to be raised by nannies," Mai replies.

"We were both raised by nannies," Ty Lee points out.

"My point exactly."

And they are laughing. The heaviness is gone. For a brief moment, Ty Lee feels like they are back in the Earth Kingdom, trying to paint their faces as Kyoshi Warriors for the first time or unpacking their bags at that musty cottage on Ember Island. She pulls her friend into a hug, and when she lets go, Mai is actually smiling.

"Now," Ty Lee says, straightening Mai's robe and giving the flowers in her hair a final readjustment. "Let's go get married."

* * *

The reception takes place in the courtyard, and it is spectacular. Darkness has fallen, and they can see all of Capital City up in lights. Lanterns hang from wires that must have taken days to install, but the Fire Lord's wedding is the biggest cause of national celebration since Prince Lu Ten's birth, more than thirty years ago.

Ty Lee finds Azula off to the side, leaning against a pillar and watching Zuko shake hands with Sokka and Suki.

"Isn't it magical?" she sighs.

"I suppose," Azula concedes. "If you're into fairytales."

But Ty Lee is unswayed. "I am."

"They're _children's_ stories."

"I love children." She spins around, and her dress fans out around her.

Azula presses a hand to her mouth, and Ty Lee suspects she is concealing a laugh. "You _are_ a child."

Ty Lee laughs, and it rings her ears. "Do you want to dance?"

"What?"

"Do you want to dance?" She stops spinning so she can see Azula clearly.

"No." Azula's answer is firm, and Ty Lee knows there is no point in arguing with her.

"Oh, okay." She sighs and looks out at the celebration. "Well, I'm going to go rescue Mai from the Earth King. I'll see you later."

Ty Lee understands. She really does. At their age, dancing together only means one thing. They would essentially be declaring their relationship to the world. Ty Lee knows Azula does not want that. Maybe she will never want that. But Ty Lee had hoped.

By the time Ty Lee has been questioned about life on Kyoshi Island, how Azula is doing, and whether she brought a date by Katara and Sokka and Aang separately, guests have stopped filtering in. On his chair at the top of the steps on which Azula was crowned Fire Lord, Zuko stands, signaling to the band and cutting off the elaborate waltz mid-measure. Beside him, Mai also rises, and, arm in arm ( _always_ arm in arm), they proceed down the stairs and to the middle of the courtyard for the Fire Lord's dance.

Weddings had been one of the only occasions during which dancing was allowed during Azulon and Ozai's tenures as monarchs, and even then, it was strictly regimented. The Fire Lord and Fire Lady were to dance by themselves through the first tempo change, and then others were allowed to join them. But Zuko is not Azulon, and he is certainly not Ozai. Aang and Katara join them almost immediately (something Ty Lee suspects might have been planned). Both couples are excellent dancers, which Ty Lee knows is only because of the lessons, because, despite her coordination in combat, Mai has never been able to step in time to save her life. Ty Lee had tried to teach her to dance back in the Earth Kingdom one night, when Azula had gone off to practice her forms for the thousandth time and left to their own devices. Mai and Zuko move stiffly, uncomfortably, their foreheads creased in concentration, trying not to miss any steps. Aang and Katara move much more gracefully, like they took lessons before their wedding and have not stopped dancing since. They move like they are on a cloud, like they are made of water. Zuko and Mai move more like machines. Ty Lee does not think that they really feel the music. Perhaps dancing just does not come as naturally to citizens of the Fire Nation.

Ursa and her husband wait for the customary tempo change before joining them. Ursa is a much more skilled dancer than either her husband, son, or daughter-in-law, and this takes Ty Lee by surprise until she remembers that Ursa was married to Ozai for fifteen years and would have had to learned. Then Sokka and Suki join, absolutely brimming with enthusiasm. Ty Lee doubts that either of them have ever danced formally before in their lives, and they are missing every step, but they do not seem to care or even notice. They have wide grins pasted on their faces as if they are just happy not to have stepped on anyone else's toes. Ty Lee notices Aang and Katara struggling to give them a wide birth without being too conspicuous about it. Then Toph pulls a lanky boy in Water Tribe blue who looks like he is having trouble deciding between being terrified and being unable to believe his luck out onto the floor. Then Mai's mother leads a young boy who has the peaked look of having just grown several inches into the courtyard, and Ty Lee realizes that it is Tom-Tom. Zuko and Mai have retreated to the bottom of the steps, more content to simply to watch. Nearly everyone is dancing now and their presence is not missed.

"Ty Lee."

Azula is standing in the shadow of a nearby pillar. She turns and begins to walk along the path, and Ty Lee knows that she is expected to follow.

"Where are we going, Azula?"

"Don't worry. You'll like it," she calls over her shoulder as her feet clank over the grate where she was chained for five hours on that summer night more than five years ago. She pushes open a tall glass door, barely noticeable among the floor-length windows, and steps inside.

They are in a ballroom that Ty Lee has never seen before, though she has never had any occasion to. "Azula, what are we doing?"

The Princess grasps her hand and pulls her toward the middle of the room, away from the windows. "Dancing."

"But I can barely hear the music."

"Only because you won't stop talking."

So Ty Lee obediently settles her free hand on Azula's shoulder and waits for Azula to slip her own hand to her waist.. Ty Lee had never expected Azula to be a good dancer, so she is not disappointed. If Ursa and Zuko had not been banished, she probably would have taken dance lessons, but as if were, she spent her adolescence at war and then in an asylum, so Ty Lee leads them through the steps as best she can. They may not be in the courtyard, but the light from the lanterns shines through the glass and reflects off the chandeliers, casting the ballroom in just as many beautiful colors.

"Why anyone thinks this is fun escapes me," Azula mutters after the third time Ty Lee accidentally steps on her foot.

She shrugs, her shoulder catching on Azula's heavy shoulder plate. "You just have to get the hang of it."

It feels strange, having all of this armor between them. Ty Lee hadn't thought twice about it during the war, but now that she has wrapped her arms around Azula's body, now that she knows how small she truly is, it feels cold and unnatural. They will dance when they return home, she decides, even if she has to hum the music herself, so that Azula will know what it should really feel like.

"You want to go back out there, don't you?" her girlfriend asks after the third song. Ty Lee had not notices she was staring out the windows.

"What?"

"You want to go back to the party." It is an accusation, but Azula does not sound angry. Only resigned.

She pulls back to look the Princess in the eye. "I want to dance with you." It is an honest answer, but it is an evasion, and they both know it.

"But not here."

Ty Lee sighs, and Azula drops her arms. "I know you don't want people to know," she replies, struggling to keep the frustration out of her voice. "I just wish we could dance with everyone else."

"Why don't you care?" She expects Azula to be irritated at the very least, but she only sounds curious.

"I did," Ty Lee admits. "And then I thought I was going to die, and I regretted all of the things that we didn't do because we were trying to keep a secret."

"They would never respect us if they knew."

"Then I don't need their respect," she answers fiercely. "I love you, and I want everyone to know that."

Azula stares blankly at her, and as soon as Ty Lee realizes what she has said, her mouth drops open. "I… I…"

"Didn't mean it," Azula supplies, and she does not even sound disappointed.

Ty Lee shakes her head. "I meant it. I just didn't mean to say it."

Azula turns and walks back toward the doors. "I don't believe you."

* * *

**March, 106 AG**

The ten year anniversary of Suki's induction into the Kyoshi Warriors comes at the end of the worst month Ty Lee thinks her relationship with Azula has ever experienced, save for the month Azula had her and Mai thrown in prison. They still share their bed, they still eat breakfast at the same table every morning, but their breakfasts are quiet and they sleep with so much space between them that they are practically alone. Ty Lee feels lonelier sharing this bed with Azula than she did when she lived by herself.

"I'm not going," Azula tells her flat out when Ty Lee mentions that the Warriors are throwing Suki a party, and Ty Lee know from the tone of her voice that there will be no negotiation, but she will not stay home and join Azula in wallowing in her misery. She does that enough already.

The first thing Suki asks her when she arrives is, "Where's Azula?" Suki knows, of course, about their recent problems, but Ty Lee has not left Azula to go anywhere except for the training house since she arrived on the island.

"She's not here," Ty Lee shrugs, pretending girlfriend's absence bothers her less than it does. "She didn't want to come."

"Oh," Suki answers, clearly surprised. "I'm sorry to hear that." Ty Lee knows that Suki is not sorry at all that she will not have to deal with Azula tonight. The apology is for the relationship. The fact that it has been a month and they still act more like roommates than lovers. Ty Lee wishes she'd just agreed with Azula, let her believe she did not really love her. It would have been better than what they have now.

"Congratulations!" She has to yell as they enter the house. Ty Lee's living room is crowded when Mai and Zuko visit. There are at least fifteen people crammed into Suki's. Yani telling a story that involves animated hand gestures to the newest group of recruits, Min nibbling on a banana and eyeing a boy who is leaning casually against the opposite wall. She wanders the room and finds that she knows everyone here, but does not particularly want to talk to any of them. The other Warriors will inevitably ask here where Azula is—they do not know about the relationship, but they are now well accustomed to her trailing Ty Lee wherever she goes—and she does not think that she can deal with their looks of relief when she tells them that Azula decided to sit this one out. The corner that the Princess usually haunts during parties is occupied by Kiko and her newest boy from the village. Ty Lee doe s not want to see it. She pushes through the crowd and lets herself through the door that she knows leads to the bedroom and sinks into the bed. _Breathe._

She drops her head into her hands and thinks. She considers going home, but she does not want to admit defeat. She is debating the pros and cons of waiting out the party in the darkness of Suki's bedroom when the door creaks open.

"Ty Lee?"

"Suki!" she squeals. "I was just… umm…" She begins to smooth out the blanket, completely unsure of where exactly she is trying to go with this.

"Making my bed?" Suki raises an eyebrow. "During a party? I appreciate your, umm… generosity, but I'm pretty sure it was already made."

"Oh," Ty Lee replies feebly. "Well, it was dark." She does not even try to frame the lie as a truth.

"I see." The door closes and Ty Lee feels the bed sink down beside her. "You want to tell me about it?"

"I don't know what to do," Ty Lee groans as an arm slips around her shoulders. "I don't know what happened to us." She allows herself to lean into her friend, to accept the comfort that she is offering.

"Things like this happen sometimes in relationship," Suki assures her. "Sokka and I fight all the time. You guys will get through it. You just need to talk to each other. That's always been your biggest problem."

Ty Lee shakes her head. "My life would be so much easier if I was dating you."

Suki laughs. "Yeah, I guess it might."

"I'm serious," Ty Lee looks up at her in the darkness. "I loved you for the longest time. I wish I was dating you."

Suki is silent for a long time. "Is that what you meant when you told me you'd finally found someone who liked you back?"

Ty Lee is surprised that Suki even remembers the words she'd used when she'd first told her of the relationship, after their first fight. Minor compared to this one. "Yes."

Suki sighs. "I'm sorry if that was painful for you—"

And then, before Ty Lee knows what she is doing, her hands are on either side of Suki's head, pulling her down. Their lips meet, and at first, Suki is as still as the statue of Kyoshi, and then she is angling her head, molding her lips to match Ty Lee's. It is like a whirlwind, and Ty Lee feels as if she can't breathe. Her hands are roaming over Suki's back, down her sides, playing with the hem of her shirt. Then suddenly, Suki is pinned to the bed and Ty Lee's fingers are on skin, soft and warm and alive. She can feel the edge of her friend's chest bindings, searches for the end of the cloth, finds it—

There is pressure on Ty Lee's chest, pushing her back. "What are we doing, Ty?" Suki sounds surprised and confused and breathless.

Reality snaps back into place in a second, and Ty Lee is scurrying off of Suki, knowing she cannot take back what she has just done. "I…"

"I'm not… I don't…" Suki is sputtering, and then she takes a breath and tries again. "You love Azula. Remember Azula? And I love Sokka. Oh no, Sokka." The bed creaks as she stands, and through the darkness, Ty Lee can see her begin to pace, fingers to her temples.

"I'm sorry," Ty Lee squeaks, clamping her hand over her mouth. "I'll just… I'll just go home."

"No," Suki sighs. "You don't have to. Just… use the room as long as you need to, okay?" And she escapes back to the party without another word.

Ty Lee is still there when Suki returns at the end of the night, lying on her back and trying to _think_. One corner of Suki's mouth turns up in a half smile. "How are you doing?" Ty Lee groans in response, and her friend sighs. "Look, if you don't want to go back home tonight… you can stay here."

"Really?"

"Of course." Suki replies. "And, about what happened… I'm too tired to think about it right now, so just don't worry about it, okay?"

Ty Lee nods and scoots over so that Suki and climb into the bed beside her. They face opposite directions, but the mattress is narrow and their spines press against each other. They can ignore it, Ty Lee decides as she feels her friend's breaths slow against her back, even though it became obvious the moment Suki kissed her back.

The kiss meant something.

* * *

The first thing Ty Lee notices when she enters the house she and Azula share the next morning is the overturned chair laying several feet from its previous location. There is a dent in the wall right beside the door that it much too big to be from a fist.

"Azula?" she calls. "Azula, where are you?"

She leans closer to the dent. There are specks of something dark spattered on the paint, and she realizes with a jolt that it is blood.

"Azula?"

She throws open the bedroom door, but it is empty, the bed untouched. She turns and flies through the kitchen doorway and nearly collides with the table. Azula is crumpled against the wall at the far end of the counter, legs outstretched in front of her. She can see the blood even from here. It is everywhere.

"Azula!"

She crosses the kitchen in two hurried steps and kneels in front of the Princess. Azula's eyelids flutter, and relief floods through Ty Lee's body, simply because she is alive. The skin of Azula's knuckles is shredded and bloody, blood trickles slowly from a wound on her forehead. There are several cuts on her left forearm that look deep, and Ty Lee is unsure of what they came from until she sees the vegetable knife lying several feet away.

"Azula, what did you do?" she cries, hugging her girlfriend's head to her chest. She can feel blood leaking onto her dress, but that is the least of her concerns. There is always another dress, after all.

"What he told me to," Azula mumbles against her chest.

Ty Lee holds her bleeding forearm up to inspect it. "What who told you to?"

"My father."

"Azula, how long has your father been talking to you?" she asks.

"Since the wedding." Azula moans. "He won't go away."

"Why did you tell me?" She holds Azula's head away from her to take a look at the wound on her forehead. Azula shrugs weakly.

"None of this looks _too_ bad," Ty Lee informs her. "Stay right here. I'm going to get some supplies to clean you up."

So she wipes the blood from Azula's body and bandages her arm and hand and head, and by the time she is finished, Azula is much more alert.

"Can you stand?"

"Yes." She grips the counter and wobbles a little on the way up, but then she is upright. Ty Lee leads her to the couch, settles in beside her, and nestles Azula's head into her lap, careful to mind the bandages.

"I don't think you should go to sleep for a while," she explains as she absently runs her fingers through her girlfriend's hair, brushing it away from her face. "Just in case. So I want you to keep talking to me." She feels a nod against her legs. "Okay, I need you to tell me what your father has been saying to you."

"The same thing he always does." She sighs. "He said you were lying. He said you would never love me." Her voice is tired and emotionless, and Ty Lee imagines she must be completely drained. "He told me if you really loved me, you wouldn't have left me to go to that party. He wouldn't stop saying it."

She remembers her kiss with Suki and she feels so _dirty_. She takes a deep breath, swallowing the tears that threaten her eyes. "Azula, what were you doing with that knife? Were you… were you trying to k-kill yourself?"

She shakes her head feebly. "I just wanted him out."

Ty Lee leans over so that her lips are nearly touching Azula's ear. "You know that nothing he said was true, right?"

Azula nods. "He was just trying to control me again. And I let him."

"Is this why you've barely spoken to me since the wedding?"

"He kept telling me you didn't love me. You only pitied me," she explains. "I don't want your pity."

"Azula," she chokes, tears spilling out of her eyes. "I _do_ love you. I love you _so_ much."

"I know," Azula answers softly, gripping Ty Lee's forearm and squeezing.

She feels _so dirty_.

She finally puts Azula to bed in the early evening and sets off cleaning up the kitchen. The blood is everywhere. Drips on the counters, handprints on the cabinets, a pool on the floor where Azula had apparently tried to cut her father's voice out of her body. Tears mingle with the blood as she works. In the washroom, the mirror is gone, as Ty Lee suspected, so she simply sweeps the shards of glass off the floor and removes the empty frame from the wall. Perhaps she will wait a while before replacing it. She scrapes the blood out of the dent in wall, which she now realizes is from Azula's head, as best she can before she calls it quits and crawls into bed beside her girlfriend.

Azula is still awake when she arrives. "Why didn't you come home last night?"

"I couldn't face you." Ty Lee does not mention why.

"I froze you out for no reason," Azula comments, and Ty Lee realizes with a rush of horror that Azula is blaming herself.

Ty Lee curls up against her side and slides a hand up to cup her cheek. "It's not your fault."

Azula removes Ty Lee's hand but does not let go of it. "Don't say that."

She sleeps at her girlfriend's side for the first time in a month, and _she feels so dirty_.

* * *

**April, 106 AG**

Ty Lee does not press Azula to have a party for her twentieth birthday. She has been going to pains to keep Azula and Suki separated, which has not been easy, because she is again extremely reluctant to leave Azula alone. She is just not prepared to reconcile her feelings toward each one with the other.

_You love Azula._

_But you loved Suki first._

_Do you really love Suki, though?_

_You did._

_But do you still?_

_You kissed her._

_You also kissed Mai._

_No, Mai kissed you._

_But Mai doesn't love you._

_Do you know that for sure?_

_Of course. Mai doesn't like women. And besides, Suki's with Sokka._

_It doesn't matter. You can't stay with Azula just because Suki's unavailable._

Ty Lee loves Azula. She know that deep down, but a nagging voice in her head keeps reminding her how easy a life with Suki would be. Suki would not give her the cold shoulder for a month for no reason at all. Suki would actually be amenable to the idea of going out with the Kyoshi Warriors every once in a while. There is no danger of coming home and finding Suki incoherent in a pool of blood. She hates herself for even thinking it.

But she loves Azula. She will not leave Azula. Ty Lee does not think she _loves_ Suki. Not really. Maybe she did once. She certainly could have, given the opportunity. But she doesn't. Not now.

When she returns from the training house, she packs a basket of fruits and vegetables and takes Azula down to the beach. They settle in under a tree on the far end of the island, where they are less likely to be interrupted, because their picnic does look vaguely romantic, and Ty Lee does not want Azula to feel uncomfortable. She has decided that she is finished pushing. She may have had her life prioritized, but Azula has not. Azula also spent fourteen years furiously trying to gain approval, and Ty Lee cannot fault her for being hesitant to do something that is sure to lose it.

"It's also our anniversary, you know," Ty Lee says conversationally as she takes a bite out of a banana.

"I think it was probably the day after my birthday by the time we actually became a couple," Azula points out, entirely nonplussed.

Ty Lee merely waves a hand. "Why nitpick?"

Azula shrugs. "I don't see why it matters anyway." She stares out at the horizon. The sun is sinking below the waves, casting the sky in colors like fire, and Azula seems content just to look at it. _God, she is beautiful._

"I just wanted you to know that we've been together for a year." She sighs. She should not do this right now, she knows. She should have done it a long time ago, but she put it off, and now she has herself boxed into a corner, because Azula will probably be expecting mind-blowing birthday/anniversary sex, and when Ty Lee can't fulfill that expectation because every time she touches Azula's skin, she remembers touching Suki's, Azula will probably blame herself. "I have to tell you something."

Azula puts down the banana she has been working on and looks away from the sky. "That sounds ominous."

"It… it is." Ty Lee drops her eyes to the blanket and takes a deep breath. "I kissed Suki."

She hears a sharp intake of breath beside her, but when Azula speaks, her voice is level. "When?"

"When we weren't really talking," Ty Lee answers, color rising to her cheeks. "It happened at that party."

"Then one you didn't come home from?" Azula asks sharply. "You slept with her?"

"No!" Ty Lee cries. "Well, technically yes, but all we did was sleep."

"While I was having a breakdown and nearly killing myself, you were asleep in _her_ bed?" She sounds livid now, but she also sounds betrayed, and Ty Lee thinks that is worse.

"I was upset," Ty Lee replies weakly. "And lonely. You weren't speaking to me, and I didn't know why, and instead of trying to talk to you, I talked to someone else, and something happened, but I wish it hadn't. I'm so sorry."

Azula is silent for a moment before she speaks again. "Is that all?"

"Listen, Azula, I know you have no reason to believe me," she is speaking so quickly that the words are practically tumbling out of her mouth. "But I meant everything I said. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry. It was stupid. It was so stupid. I've felt sick ever since."

"You're right," Azula replies. "I have no reason to believe you."

The relationship is over.

"But you've never had any reason to believe anything I've said, and you've believed it anyway," she continues. "So I supposed I can extend you the same courtesy this once."

Ty Lee cannot believe what she is hearing. She looks up at her companion. "Are you… are you _forgiving_ me?"

Azula matches her gaze. "You're the best person I know, Ty Lee." A pause. "But if you ever repeat that to anyone, I will deny I said it."

Ty Lee slides her hand across the blanket to cover Azula's and she does not pull away.

The relationship is not over.

* * *

Ty Lee pours herself into Azula that night, as if it can absolve her of her wrongdoings. Her mouth is everywhere and she leaves tears in her wake. She grips so hard she leaves bruises. She does not relent until actual _screams_ rip themselves from Azula's throat. It is not exactly mind-blowing birthday sex, but it is certainly the most emotional sex Ty Lee has ever had.

Afterwards, she crawls up to Azula's side and laces their fingers together while she waits for her to stop panting. When Azula finally rolls her head towards her, there are tears in her eyes, and Ty Lee does not know why.

"Do you love her?"

Ty Lee leans over and kisses her as if that in itself can makes the pain disappear. "No," she answers. "I think I did once, but that was before I loved you."

Azula draws her eyebrows together in thought. "Will I know it when I feel it?"

"Love?" Ty Lee shakes her head against the pillow. "It's not like that. It's not something that just happens. You don't not love someone one day and then love them the next. It's gradual. And once you realize it, you can't remember when it started."

"Oh," Azula replies, and then she is silent for a while. "I might love you." It is more than she ever thought she would hear from Azula.

"It's okay." Ty Lee brings the back of her girlfriend's hand to her lips and scoots towards her until she can feel the Princess' sweat-coated body against her own. "You don't have to decide right now." She feels Azula nod against her forehead. "I knew I loved you the first time I held you," Ty Lee adds. "When I thought I was going to die."

Azula is silent for a moment. "How unfortunate."

"Yes." Ty Lee sighs. "It was."

Another moment of silence. "That was a long time ago."

"Yes," Ty Lee agrees. "It was."

Azula reaches her free arm across her body to tuck a lose strand of hair behind Ty Lee's ear. Her forearm is healing so nicely. Ty Lee can barely even see the cuts she inflicted on herself two months ago. Her knuckles, however, will probably scar.

An idea occurs to her then, and she lifts her head off of Azula's shoulder so she can see her face. "Do you want to dance?"

She'd promised herself that they would after the wedding, but then Azula hadn't been speaking to her, and when she finally was, Ty Lee had been feeling almost too guilty to even look at her, so it had never happened.

Azula's eyes widen in surprise. "Right now?"

"Yeah," Ty Lee replies, sitting up and grinning wickedly. "Come on."

"But there's no music."

"Who cares?" She swings her legs out of the bed and reaches for her robe. "We'll make our own."

She pulls Azula out of the bed after her and into the living room, where Azula reaches for her waist.

"No," Ty Lee says as she redirects the hand to her shoulder. "I'm going to lead this time."

"Why?"

She rolls her eyes. "Because I'm the one who actually knows what I'm doing." She plants her hand firmly at her girlfriend's waist and begins to hum a song that she heard at the wedding. The Fire Lord's song.

It is awkward at first. Ty Lee has to hold them apart so that Azula can glance down at their feet when she needs to. Azula is not any better at keeping a beat than Mai has ever been, and she is never ready when Ty Lee changes direction, but eventually, she feels comfortable enough in Azula's ability to pull her closer, revel in the feeling of their bodies against each other, without armor or the perceptions of other people between them. They still trip over each other's legs because even Azula is not that quick a learner, and she looks frustrated every time, as if she expected to be a prodigy at dancing the same way she was a prodigy at firebending, but Ty Lee just laughs and pulls them back together to pick up where they left off.

"Now you'll be ready for the next wedding," Ty Lee comments when she finally feels her eyelids becoming heavy.

She feels Azula nod against the side of her head. "We'll dance at the next wedding," she replies. "At the reception. On the dance floor."

Ty Lee halts their movement and takes a step back. Cocks her head and studies her girlfriend for a moment. "Azula, we don't have to if you don't want to," she answers. "I'm done fighting over it."

"We will," Azula promises. "But not a moment before."

It could be years before the next wedding, Ty Lee realizes. Maybe not until Sokka and Suki's, and that is at least four years down the road. She finds she doesn't care, because if Azula is willing to think that far ahead in terms of their relationship, she cannot complain.

Azula sleeps against her that night, their legs tangled together, and Ty Lee does not have the urge to vomit. She does not think about how warm Suki's stomach is, how soft her lips are, or how stable their relationship would be, because Azula moves against her, and if Suki is a ray of sunshine and a gentle breeze, Azula is a tropical storm. She is cold and unpredictable and unbearably proud. And she is so beautiful. And so fragile. And in this moment, Ty Lee cannot imagine herself with anyone else.

She sleeps well for the first time in four months.

* * *

"You look happy," Suki comments when Ty Lee arrives the training house the next morning. Her voice is hesitant. If Ty Lee's relationship with Azula has been rocky since the kiss, her relationship with Suki has been a landslide. Suki had given up trying to talk to her about what happened within a week, and switched to topics such as the incoming class of Kyoshi Warriors and the weather. Suki is hurt. Ty Lee can see that, and she feels bad, because _she_ kissed Suki, and now she is distancing herself from her, but Ty Lee has not been able to bring herself to explain that it is merely out of guilt, to explain that when she sees Suki, she hates herself because she wants to be kissing her again.

This morning, when Ty Lee enters the training house, she only sees Suki as a friend.

"I am happy," she replies, flashing Suki a brilliant smile, and it brings a smile to her captain's face as well.

Ty Lee sits next to her at lunch for the first time in two months. Suki looks at her in surprise. "I told Azula about what happened," she explains conversationally.

"You did?" Suki's forehead creases in concern. "How'd it go?"

Ty Lee beams. "Well, I'm still alive," she answers cheerfully. "And I'm not single."

"That's great, Ty," Suki replies. "And a little surprising. What happened?"

"She… forgave me," Ty Lee answers. The word tastes odd on her tongue, and she suspects it is because she has never so much as thought it in reference to Azula.

"Wow. That was… big of her." Suki sounds as shocked as Ty Lee feels. She takes a bite of her sandwich and chews it thoughtfully. "I told Sokka a while back."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "He took it pretty well. He said it was fine as long as he got to join us next time."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

Suki laughs. "I ask myself the same question every day." She is silent for a while, but Ty Lee can almost hear the gears turning in her head, can tell she is deciding whether to speak by the way she keeps opening her mouth, freezing, and then closing it again. Finally, "Does this mean we're… friends again?"

Ty Lee sighs. "Suki…"

"It's okay if you're still mad at me," she adds quickly. "I'm kind of still mad at me too."

"I was never mad at you," Ty Lee explains. "I was guilty, and I felt guiltier when I was around you, because… because every time I saw you, all I could think about was how we kissed, and I liked it."

Suki smiles at her. Understanding. Hesitant. "I mean, we didn't have sex or anything." Her voice is hushed.

"But I would have," Ty Lee admits, color rising to her cheeks. "If you hadn't stopped me, I would have. I meant what I said at the party. I really, really liked you. Maybe even loved you. For years."

Suki sighs. "Maybe if things had gone differently…"

"Maybe," Ty Lee agrees. She allows herself to imagine for a second what her life would have been like if Sokka had not rescued Suki, if their second meeting had been at the Boiling Rock. She allows herself to imagine a future with Suki, a life with Suki. And then she lets it go. "But the two of us were never meant to be. Not in this lifetime." She matches her friend's tentative smile with one of her own. "Don't worry. We're still friends."

* * *

A week after her twentieth birthday, Azula wakes up screaming. Ty Lee does not know if she has fewer nightmares now than she did before, but they do not wake Ty Lee up as often, and she hopes that means that they are at least not as bad.

She sits and pants with the blanket clutched around her stomach as Ty Lee pushes herself off the pillow. "What's going on?" she yawns, rubbing her eyes.

"Nothing," Azula answers. "Go back to sleep." She will not meet her eye, and Ty Lee is reminded forcefully of first time she was woken up by Azula screams, during her second week on Kyoshi Island, while she was still sleeping on the couch.

Ty Lee presses on. "Something's going on. Did you have a nightmare? It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Azula shakes her head as she lies back down, too tired to argue. "I've been having them again since the wedding."

"Azula," Ty Lee groans lowering herself back to the pillow and hooking her chin over her girlfriend's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Azula shrugs. "It's not a big deal." She yawns. "I'm kind of used to them, you know."

She rolls over and Ty Lee curls into her back and snakes her arms around her stomach. "What was it about?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Azula," Ty Lee pleads. "You can tell me."

"Honestly, it was nothing," Azula insists. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm tired."

"You can go to sleep," she replies stubbornly. "Once you tell me."

"It was my father," Azula mutters. "There. Happy?"

"What did he say?"

"Nothing of consequence."

"Azula, you were screaming."

"He said nothing"

"Azula!"

"Fine," she grumbles, and she rolls back over to face Ty Lee, to look her in the eye. "He said I was crazy. He said I was worthless. He said I was a failure and a disappointment." She pauses. She might even be hesitating. "And he said that was why you ran to Suki."

Ty Lee must look horrified, because Azula's face softens. "Do you see why I didn't want to tell you?"

Ty Lee reaches up and cups her cheek, even though she can feel tears stinging her eyes because _how could she ever hurt Azula like this?_ "Don't you ever not tell me what's going on with you to spare my feelings, okay?"

Azula nods and buries her face in the pillow, and as she wraps herself protectively around Azula's body and feels the harsh rise and fall of her breath, Ty Lee thinks she might be concealing tears.

* * *

**May, 106 AG**

Zuko and Mai's baby is born on the sixth day after Ty Lee and Azula arrive in the Fire Nation. Ty Lee had not seen Mai since the wedding, but when they'd arrived at the palace—Mai had not come out of meet them at the dock—Ty Lee had been surprised the Fire Lady was even able to walk. Mai is tall, but she is also remarkably slim, and she had seemed dwarfed by her own stomach. Somehow, though, she still managed to look dignified, regal. It is a gift that Ty Lee has wished she had more than once.

A servant had come to fetch Ty Lee and Azula in the small hours of the morning, when it was still dark outside and before the birds had even started to sing, and with six words, "The Fire Lady is in labor," Ty Lee had been out of bed, mostly dressed, and pulling Azula behind her down the palace corridors.

Now they are standing, still in their robes, outside the Mai and Zuko's bedchamber listening to Mai's screams. Each wave makes Ty Lee wince. She bounces nervously on the balls of her feet, because this baby is not due for almost another two months, and even as the youngest child, Ty Lee knows that the odds of a good outcome are not in their favor. Azula's face is like stone.

"I am never having children," Azula comments, eyes flitting anxiously toward the door.

Ty Lee bursts out laughing. "You? As a mother? Please, Azula. No one who's ever met you thinks that would be a good idea."

"Did you ever want children?" The question is surprising, but not entirely unwelcome.

"I've thought about it," she shrugs. "With some of the other people that I've liked."

"Suki," Azula supplies, and Ty Lee nods.

"But it's never been a deal-breaker."

Azula sighs. "I thought I would have to have children," she replies. "I've always thought I would need an heir."

"I guess that's the silver lining of not being the Fire Lord," Ty Lee comments, and, this time, Azula nods.

"I was supposed to have an arranged marriage, you know," she adds conversationally. "I don't know who to, but my father had someone in mind towards the end of the war."

"Really?" Ty Lee's eyes widen.

"Oh, don't look so surprised," Azula snaps. "I was the princess. I was valuable. He was never going to keep me to himself forever. And just because my dear _brother_ is too noble to marry me off for his own benefit—"

"Azula," Ty Lee interrupts. "No offense, but I don't think the list of families willing to marry their sons to you is exactly long. Not anymore. I mean…" she shrugs. "Everyone knows you're never going to rule." She hopes she does not sound too harsh. "Sorry."

Azula waves a hand. "It's fine, Ty Lee. I'm just the crazy princess now. You're probably right."

Ty Lee reaches for her hand, and they wait in relative silence for a while, Mai's steady stream of death threats still permeating the heavy wooden doors.

"Well, Mai should just be glad she's getting this out of the way now," Azula says, crossing her arms. "Then it will be over with."

"But she'll have to have more than one," Ty Lee points out. "I mean, look what happened when your uncle's only son died."

"That's true," Azula points out. " _I_ could still ascend to the throne."

Ty Lee frowns. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Yes it is."

"Maybe a little bit."

"Why did they even wake us up for this?" the Princess huffs. "It's not like there's anything we can do to help, and it's been hours."

"So we can be here when the baby's born," Ty Lee explains as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world. But then, Azula never really did understand regular human emotions. Azula probably does not comprehend the gravity of the situation.

* * *

Silence falls around midday. Ty Lee and Azula have eaten their lunches in the corridor outside the door because even though Azula wanted to go sit at the table in the grand dining room "like an actual, civilized person" Ty Lee would not budge, and she would not go alone.

Mai's cries break off suddenly and there is silence. And then there is chaos. Servants run out of the room and back in with things like bowls and towels and spoons. Ty Lee keeps trying to get a glimpse of what is happening inside the room every time the door swings open, but all she can see are the midwives bustling around carrying things, any one of which could be the actual baby, and Mai laying on the bed looking about as white as the Avatar's flying bison.

Azula makes a noise that sounds like a growl, and only then does Ty Lee realize how hard she is squeezing her hand. "You could have told me it hurt," she mutters, and Azula folds her arms. Ty Lee is too preoccupied to press the matter.

It is five minutes before they hear crying, and Ty Lee breathes again.

It is nearly twenty minutes before anyone comes back out of the room. "Do you think they've forgotten about us?" Azula asks, sounding moderately insulted.

"I wouldn't blame them if they had."

And then Zuko pokes his head out the door. There are dark bags under his eyes, and his hair is disheveled, and he is not wearing his crown, but he is smiling as wide as Ty Lee thinks she has ever seen him smile. "You can come in now."

The first thing Ty Lee notices is Mai, on the bed, chest still heaving. Her hair is down and it is completely drenched, her entire body covered in a sheen of sweat. She reminds Ty Lee of how she must have looked when she was sick last year. In her arms there is a small bundle that Ty Lee imagines must be the baby. By the window, Zuko is clenching and unclenching his fist, wincing in pain, but with a detached smile on his face nonetheless.

A whisper comes from the bed, "How long have you been waiting?" and when Ty Lee looks over, the Fire Lady's eyes are open and one corner of her mouth is turned up in a content half-smile that looks out of place on the face of her best friend.

"All morning," Azula complains, though Ty Lee thinks she sounds less annoyed than she could have.

"I wish it had been quick," Mai replies, voice still shaking. "Believe me." She glances at Azula, and then she takes a long look at Ty Lee. "Don't ever give birth."

"We weren't planning on it," Ty Lee assures her with a giggle.

"Would you like to see her?" Zuko is speaking again, stepping away from the window and towards the bed.

"Yes!" Ty Lee squeals, because she really cannot contain herself. Amidst all of her relationship problems, this is the one thing she has really been looking forward to for the past few months. The prospect of seeing Mai and Zuko's baby has kept her sane.

Mai sits up with some effort and holds the bundle out to Ty Lee as she climbs up on the edge of the bed.

She is so small and so delicate. Ty Lee is certain she will break her if she holds her the wrong way. Her lips are still tinged with blue and all of the veins in her eyelids are visible. Ty Lee can feel her breathing, and it is magical. She looks back and forth between Zuko and Mai, her mouth hanging awkwardly open, for a long time before she can make any words come out. "She's gorgeous."

She turns her head to the spot where Azula is standing, gripping her bicep with her opposite hand and looking uncomfortable and out of place. "Azula, come here," she calls. "Do you want to hold your niece?"

Zuko looks for a moment like he might object, but then he smiles, and Ty Lee thinks it might be genuine. Azula takes a step toward her and then another, and then Ty Lee is thrusting the bundle into her arms. _They'll look alike_ , Ty Lee thinks. Zuko and Azula look so much alike, both just like their mother and barely like Ozai at all.

"What is her name?" Azula demands sharply.

Zuko take a seat on the bed beside his wife and grasps her hand. "Raiza."

Azula looks down at the bundle, studies it. "Fire Lord Raiza," she murmurs slowly, as if she is testing it out. The child will know her aunt, Ty Lee realizes. She is sure that it is not something any of them saw coming two years ago.

Mai is out, dead to the world, just like all of those nights in the Earth Kingdom when they were fourteen and fifteen, and Ty Lee was caught between Mai's love for Zuko and Azula's duty to her father, but now Zuko is here and so is Azula, and it has been six years since they last tried to kill each other.

"I was going to kill her," Zuko had admitted to her and Mai all of those years ago, and then Mai had admitted that she'd known, and Ty Lee had wondered how she'd missed it, and they'd all agreed that the asylum was the best place for her, for now at least, but maybe forever. And now here she is, in relatively good health, standing among the first three people to ever betray her, looking appraisingly at her niece. There are a lot of emotions written on Azula's face, but malice is not one of them.

She is, once again, second in line for the throne.

She hands the baby back to Zuko and Ty Lee goes to her, slips her arms around her waist, rests her chin on her shoulder. Azula crosses her arms because affection is still not her strong suit, especially not with other people in the room, but Ty Lee is too happy to care, and Zuko is too distracted to notice. She knows that they will go back to their room after this, and Azula will complain the entire way about how tired she is and how rude it was of that servant to wake them up, but she will ensure that the back of her hand brushes Ty Lee's as they walk, the way she always does when she wants Ty Lee to hold her hand, but does not want to initiate it, and then when they get back to the room, Ty Lee will pin her against the door and kiss her, and that will end of any talk about going to sleep.

Ty Lee's life is not what she thought it would be when she ran away to the circus or when she was recruited by Azula or when she was locked in the Boiling Rock or even when she arrived on Kyoshi Island.

Azula's life is not what anyone imagined it would be, least of all, Azula herself. She is not the Fire Lord, she does not have armies at her disposal, and she cannot invade other nations at will, but she is also she is not in prison or in the asylum, and she is not dead. And she seems happy, and she is loved, and Ty Lee thinks that maybe that is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys don't even understand how close I came to writing a really depressing ending. Like, every possible way this story could have ended badly, I considered it. I considered killing Ty Lee, killing Azula, killing Mai, killing the baby, I considered Ty Lee and Suki actually having sex and then Azula and Ty Lee breaking up over it, I considered Mai continuing to dislike her child after she was born, I considered Suki accidentally getting pregnant and having to leave the Kyoshi Warriors, I considered combinations of those things, but in the end, I decided I really just wanted them to be happy, so that's how I left it.


End file.
